Dear 'Mollie', and 'salishgirl',
I second friend 'mabri's advice, and could not have said it better !
I must add that--in my estimation--the majority of the public ( including, family members and friends ) have accepting, or even, tolerating conditions such as panic/anxiety attacks/agoraphobia as (while these are legitimate diagnoses)although it is often absolute hell for the person suffering from them, these conditions do not particularly 'make' a person look ill, as would--say--were you to be missing a leg.
And they may want to try to attribute them to the product of an over-stimulated emotion ( and, yes, hypersensitivity is large contributor ), or, the product of your imagination,( kind of like the kid who wants to stay in bed, rather than go to school.)
Since you have NO gaping wounds, nor missing limbs, nor other conditions, such as diabetes, that is commonly accepted.
And yes...I, too, have been told to just 'snap out of it'. Even though--should you have, for example to view my profile, all my 'conditions' have been established as fact by some evidentiary lab work, X-rays, scans, etc. by my Primary physician. And my Pain Doctor.
We who labor under these deadful conditions really do need all the support from friends, and family that we can get. Because it is so completely life-altering frm anything we ever knew before. And also, sometimes some people become resentful if they think you are dodging school, work, home responsibilities, driving, shopping, and more.
You did not mention whether or not you been diagnosed, or had lab work done, or are seeing a therapist, pain manager, or psychiatrist.
If you have not as yet done, I suggest that you do so, first to put your conditions 'on the map'; second, to begin seeking professional help that may involve counselling,or medication. If you are concurrently in extrememe pain, or cannot sleep, your functionng level will of course be very low.
And, I must tell you, that on many an occasion, even with ome very, very strong medications, I still have many 'bad' days during which I can do nothing.
Perhaps having a family member attend a therapy sesion with you might help them to understand your conditions.
But, I do agree with my firend 'mabri', should their lack of understanding, which has already become verbal, becomes abusive or toxic, you will need to relocate to a quieter, 'safer' place, with either more caring relatives, or with friends. Because you need validation, support, help, committment, assistance, and this means a major change of midset among those you live with.
Though I live alone, I would not recommend doing so, unless you can afford it, and want to, for I find myself feeling unutterably ill, with no one for understanding or assistance.
And, to the extent that you can, forgive yourself first, then them. You did not ask for these illnesses, nor, did you deserve them. Be kinder to yourself. If they are 'running' and you can't keep up, sit down. Find those areas of things that you can still do.
For 'family time', seek 'together time'. Try to relax. Fix up some kibble and sodas and have 'movie night'.
If you have small children, they really won't be able to understand, but on your 'good' or 'better' days, get down on the floor, at their level, their perspective and have 'play time'. Genuine laughter does help so much.
For a tired, and husband who may not be able to understand, or who may even resent his now increased responsibility, or you somehow being 'different' than you were.
As a man, I can tell you that there's a LOT that confuses us, but, we still respond well to praise and acknowledgemet. You've got to let them know how important they are to you; paper the private bathroom with dozens of little, heart-shaped post-it notes, and write upon them: 'I love you 'XYZ', or, 'Thanks', or, 'I could not make it without you !'
Give him a neck massage. Something that will bring you closer together.
And, although you may have horrible days, this is brusque, but vitally important, so please, I mean no offense.
For the sake of harmony in the family, be the first one to say 'I sorry', and mean it.
While you muight not feel like even getting out of bed,do not let your hygeine go; wear comfortable, but clean clothes; pay attention to your hair, and nails. Don't allow yourself to get sloppy. And while explanations of how you are feeling are certainly O.K., DON'T get shrill or whiney. Be approachable. Remember that panic/pain/anxiety can make you angry...quite natural, but, for Heaven's sake don't become a witch, or friends and family members will go off focus, and go into 'avoidance mode'. This you do not want.
For example, I can get away with this as I live alone but, even so, if I should miss a shower, or stay in the same pajamas for three days running, of course it makes me feel and act like a slob; and really does nothing to help me with my self-esteem issues. I 'look' sick, therfore, I 'must be' sick, and even on those horrible, horrible days AND nights, a refreshing shower, clean shorts and tee and socks, and clean bed linen and towels go a long way to help me feel better. Funny, but, so does a tidy house. I my case, there's so much I can no longer do, that I pay a C.N.A private duty for showers twice a week, a general tidying up to the house, and have my laundry done.
If you can afford it in any way, hire the help you need; maybe someone at church to come out for a few bucks, or even a neighbor, or a friend; it doesn't have to cost a fortune, and you will still be able to contribute, by assuming part of the family work-load.
Look deep within, and try to find a talent that with your computer at home to do some work part time. Or, crafts. Sewing. Anything locally marketable. Caligraphy. Drawing.
Your spouse and family will begin to respect you more if you but try. The bringing in of some money into the house is more important--these days--than you know. Just be aware of your limits, and boundaries. Clearly estabish them for the family to become familiar with. Learn--also--how to express yourself. If there is something of things you absolutely cannot do, or, places you cannot go, you know them; put it on the table early, and try if you can try, but don't find yoursef in a position of promised, but failed 'tries'. It will just make you look weak, uncertain, and will undermine those demonsterable symtoms of your illness(es). You'll lose your believability. Also your reliability. In my case, for instance, there are a LOT of 'no's', some 'yeses', but few 'maybe's'. That way, although some of my neighbors and friends still have NO clue regarding my conditions, still, they do know what I can and cannot do. Will, or will not do. You also have to pleasantly 'standup' for yourself. Don't let anyone make you cry. And never apologise for being ill; you did not ask for it. You did not want it.
For although you may have a number of illnesses, they are NOT you. YOU are not them; basically, you're the same, wonderful person you've always been, but now with some duct tape ! 
Anyway, please stop in anytime you need to rant or complain; we all do. Here is where we get a lot of our support.
Please feel free to 'PM' either 'mabri' or me to let us know how you are doing.
Please feel better. Take care. And be happy ! 'Zahc'
