Agoraphobia Support Group

Hi, I posted this on a different site but felt that I should post it here too. I haven't been on here in quite a while mainly because of a bunch of thoughts going through my head. I don't want to give off the feeling that I just want to use people by asking for their help or advice and not give any of my own. I would definitely like to be more active here and hopefully I will be if my current situation clears off. Thanks for taking time to read this.

Edit: It says this is my first post but I'm pretty sure I posted a few times but I guess since its been so long that its probably been deleted.

Hey hope everyone is doing well. It's been a while since I last posted. I think the last time I posted I was talking about how my panic attacks had been really bad for about a month. I have panic disorder with severe. agoraphobia. I've been too afraid to get in a car and be driven anywhere or take any transportation. I can walk up and down my block without getting too anxious but thats about it.

I ordered Panicyl earlier this month which is natural just to give it a try because it was basically non-stop anxiety all day. I am home during the days by myself and my panic attacks would be at their worst at that time because I felt if I was having an attack no one would be around to help me. I actually started going to be about 4 or 5 am in the morning just so I would wake up in the afternoon and wouldn't have to be by myself for too long. The Panicyl has helped me not worry as much but I still tend to find myself going to bed at 4 or 5 am because I still hate being by myself.

My neighbors know the condition I am in and they've been helpful but I realize they have their own lives and I try to just accept it but it's hard as hell. But anyways, everyone in my apartment building will have to move by next Saturday because the Lanlord recently lost the building. One of my neighbors that knows I have this condition is moving this Saturday. I get anxious just thinking about it because its less than 2 days away and it would comfort me that if no one was here at my home, at least someone was here in the building to help me out if I was having a panic attack.

But yea, me, my mom, and my siblings will be moving next Saturday, but we won't be moving together. I think I've said before that me and my mom don't really get along that well so I am happy that we will be going our seperate ways. As of right now though, neither of us have a place to stay. She will probably end up staying at a friends house until she finds a place of her own. I, on the other hand have no clue as to where I will go. I may just call 911 and have an ambulance take me to the hospital to try and get treatment.

I just don't know where I will go after I leave the hospital. The nearest relatives that I could stay with live about 4 hours away and its hard to imagine from not being in a car in like 7 months to being able to sit in a car and be driven somewhere for 4 hours. No matter how much I try to tell myself that I will be ok and live through this move, I can't seem to stop thinking that I''m going to die or something else bad will happen. And I think about being driven to the hospital in the ambulance. I just can't imagine sitting in a waiting room for several hours without having a full blown panic attack and something terrible happening. I realize that I have no other choice and I must do this but it still scares the hell out of me.

Sorry for the long post, just a lot going through my head at this time.

Post edited by: Monticello, at: 06/29/2012 07:23 PM

This is really upsetting.

The worst part is there is nothing anyone can do for you. I guess your only option is to contact human services in your area and talk to someone. I know our local gov't will help you with a down payment to get into an apartment. It's not much money though-seriously below what they charge for rent anywhere around here. So maybe yours does too.

It would seem like the hospital will get you in touch with someone to help.

I remember a guy on here took the ambulance ride to the hospital, got help, then was really, really happy with the exposure and how it helped him a LOT!

Don't feel like you are using people.

Sometimes it's just good to get our thoughts out whether a lot of people respond or not it gives a chance for reflection.

I really think you should talk to your mom about what her thoughts are about where you will end up.

I would think she would have something in mind for you.

Let us know how things work out for you.

Post edited by: damselndistress, at: 06/29/2012 07:56 PM

Hello

You came to the right place, please don't feel bad asking for help, I do it all the time on here lol. Everyone is so nice, cordial and honest.

I think your plan of going to the hospital is a great idea. You need treatment.Your case is serious and you will probably be put on anti anxiety meds which really can help A LOT. When you are at the hospital you need to speak to the social worker and explain your situation.They will help you fill out forms for everything you qualify for.

BTW Silly is speaking of bigjay who was housebound and took an ambulance to the ER and received treatment. He was on xanax and was able to start exposure therapy and drive again, so there is hope hang in there we are thinking of you!

Oh yes! BigJay. His story will always stick with me. I keep seeing JayJay on here so I was cautious.. I knew it was close to that. Thank B!

I know his story is memorable and I am so happy for him. You have to be brave at times with this illness, and the hardest part is taking the first step towards help

Thanks for all of the responses. I'm going to call a few places on Monday and see if any of them can help me out in any way. I know I am going to be very very terrified when the day comes next week, but I have no other choice than to deal with it. I've only left my block a handful of times over the past 3 years and haven't left it at all this year up to now.

I believe I have read about the poster bigjay before and that is awesome that his trip to the hospital helped him so much.

My anxiety seems to grow a little day by day as we get closer to the day I have to move. Hopefully this short term intense pain turns into a step in the right direction.

Thank you for the replies once again.

I guess I kind of have a plan figured out. When we have to move out on Saturday, I plan on going to the hospital which is about 2 miles away and trying to get on some kind of treatment. Hopefully they can help me out and I can get the treatment that I need to overcome this. It justs still terrifies me that I will be leaving my "safe zone" which I have rarely left in the past 3 years and I will not be returning. I just keep having these thoughts that I'm going to constantly panic while in the ambulance or while I am in the emergency room and just have terrified thoughts and constant panic. Just earlier today I walked across the street and felt scared that I was too far away from my home and started to get panicky. I had my neighbor come over and help me get back to my house. It kind of made me angry that I couldn't make walk back across the street to my house by myself and less than 24 hours later I am supposed to leave this neighborhood and say goodbye to this "safe zone" forever.

I was wondering though, would it be a good idea if I called the hospital before I went to the emergency room and let them know that I have severe panic attacks and agoraphobia and I plan on coming in so perhaps they could maybe prepare a little better for the situation once I arrive or does it really matter?

Thanks again for the responses. I do appreciate it

Post edited by: Monticello, at: 07/06/2012 11:37 AM

Hi

I think it is a good idea to call the hospital ahead of time. Depending on how busy they are in the ER they might be able to get ready to accomodate you. Practice deep breathing, inhale and exhale very slowly. You should be breathing from your diaphram. This will help slow down your heart rate. If you start feeling panicy start laughing, just try and switch your thoughts. I know its hard but it really can help. Have the EMT tell you a story. Walk with a cold water bottle and something that can keep you busy like a nintendo or a book. Good luck, I really hope you get some good help!