Agoraphobia Support Group

Days I get better and days get worse. Why why why can't there be anything steady. Why do ( have to deal with this crap day in and day out. Is this what's supposed to happen? I live in a world of nothing but torture. Hung up from the shackles that keep me so damned frightened I can't even move. Paralyzed but some unknown force that weighs heavier and heavier upon me until I just crack?

I can only handle so much. I can't deal with the bullcrap of the world. Why me??? Why do I have to deal with this. I might as well be in an actual prison with guards that let me out for 2 hrs a day only to put me back.

I'm sick of this constant weight of fear! How do I get out from under it? Is it even possible. I remember at one time I could go outside in the rain and play with my kids. Now what? Is the rain soome hydrochloric acid that will burn me if it touches me. I feel like that cartoon character that has a constant cloud over his head.

Now people want to come into my safe place. People have already been here. Is my safe place really that safe. Have I just come to some kind oof delusion that I can be safe. Is safety EVER going to happen?

I'm afraid! I hate ...

I've somehow by the grace of God found a way to take my hands and reach out and separate the wall of crap around me like a swimmer doing the breast stroke at least at first far enough to peak out.

To stick a hand out or a toe or a leg.

Things can get better or change Mollie don't ever give up.

Remember the good times like the walk you took where you felt as close to normal as possible.

Find whatever you can that you enjoy to grab onto.

There will always be crap in the world always.

Don't spend your energy fighting it.

Find a way to step out away from it and be alive.

It's a difficult challenge and we may all have different factors in our lives that lead to that "crap" feeling but I think there is a way to escape even if just in mindset for short periods.

You can do it Mollie don't give up.

Post edited by: damselndistress, at: 06/17/2012 09:57 AM

Its scary, I know, as I know it well. Trust me.

Seek major distraction. Eat a cookie or two. Listen to calming music. Keep apart from the crowd. Try to begin to trust...someone you know who will never ever harm you.

Remember you are unique, special, one in all the world. Try to make yourself laugh, even if its false at first. Grab one of your kid's coloring books and marvel at their beauty. Are there flowers that can be seen from your windows. Every petal is as consoling as a angel tear. Think peace. Act peace. Be peace.

Smile. Wear something very comfortable. Listen to soft rain. Remember, please that your prison door is not locked, only if you want it to be. Surround yourself with comfort. Think of the last time you had fun, sang, or laughed. OR was silly, for that's O.K. Take nothing serious today...tomorrow. Think of someone you know who needs help, or is sick. Step out of yourself to tend to them. Mail a dollar to a charity. If you have a pet, remember it loves you, and relies upon you, and trusts you. As do your kids. Look at recipes. Imagine the best holiday season you ever had.

Try, please try. Do not be afraid, but know an MDJ stranger cares.Please be well with 'no pain'.

I've taken my meds and now have a more steady head. It's easy to freak out when it seems like the world is on your shoulders bareing down so heavy ... so very heavy on you.

Landlords suck. They have already tried to break into my house and was here when we weren't. They've stolen things and the "landlord" is basically no more than a slum lord with a sense of entitlement. At least she thinks she's entitled to do as she pleases when she please with no thought of the law.

We have done nothing to start this crap. We are always on time with our rent. We do what we are supposed to. Law suits, I'm afraid are in the near future.

On top of eveything else, this lady has just gotton in this position and she's drunk on power. One day she's going to get in some one's face and they are going to knock her out. Going to jail will be worth it for them.

I don't want people in my house. Specially a slumlord that thinks her crap don't stink and thinks she's got to break the law to get her point acrossed.

May all your journey be a celebration of living in love,

xElizabethx