Agoraphobia Support Group

I'm just wondering if there is a correlation between our early childhoods and how we perceive a "safe person" or the need for one. It will be interesting to see how people answer that huh?

I had two brothers and lived in the country.. so I played alone a lot too. I also slept alone in my bedroom from birth.

I don't need a safe person.. but I like to have someone to ride along with me... heck, almost anyone, but especially my mom or sons.

I would never go into a restaurant, bar, or church alone though. That's too much even for this woman. lol

I've often wondered the correlation between how we were raised and this disorder. So kind of like your questions just on a larger scale. Did you have the kind of parents who said "I love you" and showed you proper affection? Did you feel like you could always talk to your parents about anything? Were your parents nurturing? Did they embrace your specific needs as a child? Did your parents have anxieties that you picked up on as a kid? Did your parents allow you to be your own person? Did they listen to you? Was your home atmosphere a positive and encouraging one?

Post edited by: Etherealgirl, at: 05/21/2012 11:51 PM

I played with my younger sister (2 years younger) a lot. we shared the same bedroom too. and I do have my mom as my safe person for the most part.

Post edited by: youdunknowme, at: 05/21/2012 11:57 PM

Those are good questions. I think there is a sense of how we relate to others when we are adults compared to as children. We learn things.. sometimes wrong things.. from an early age. We may not live our lives now.. like we learned as a child.. but I think they may influence us as adults.

Most of the time people don't have just one person they go places with. It's can be different people.

As a child I was very uncomfortable to tell my parents anything I viewed or I thought they'd view as negative. I've had anxiety issues since a tadpole but never spoke up about them. I always tried to cover the wound myself. I picked up on some weird OCDS as a child, which at the time helped me cope but as I grew older my mind grew smarter. OCDS would no longer calm my anxious mind. I was agoraphobic for 5 years before I told my parents about it. I didn't feel comfortable telling them, I was ashamed and confused so naturally I thought they'd react the same way. My parents aren't the "I love you" type nor are they huggers. I need that. I also need constant reassurance, I did as a child and I do now. My parents didn't adapt with me nor did they realize my struggles. I look at how much I love my dog (he is my baby) and how I notice even the slightest difference in him even though he cannot speak. How did my parents not know I was dealing with such issues? Call me crazy but I feel like if you really loved your kid and were close with them you'd notices when they stopped going out and started closing in.

Not only that, but I think something's up if I child feels they cannot come to their parent with such a heavy problem.

Post edited by: Etherealgirl, at: 05/22/2012 12:07 AM

So you learned to console yourself Whitney. Now what if someone that has to have a safe person comes on and says they had a very loving, close relationship with parents, siblings, and always had someone there to help them through problems and situations. Would that make sense to us as to why they think they need a safe person? Because they have always had people there with them, to help, to guide, to encourage. It would seem like that would be natural for them to feel better with another person. See what I mean?

I didn't have that close.. I love you.. hugging family. It was understood though that we all loved each other. No problem there. As for the anxiety... I tried to fight it. I had a great friend who was very outgoing and dragged me along with her a LOT! I think without her I would be very much worse than I am now. VERY much.

The farm life was not a social world! But I still had 4-H, horse shows, and school to get me out a little. I learned from the friend how to be social, fun loving, open, and to have self confidence.. not my parents. WOW> that's the first time I realized that.

Tina.. what do you think?

I don't know... life sure is interesting huh? LOL