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05/21/2012 10:52 AM

"Safe Person?"(page 6)

Conn65
Conn65  
Posts: 11782
Group Leader

Yes Banaberry it is amazing the damage a panic attack can do. As far as the benzo topic goes..... I have a script for benzos and the doc suggested I take it on a more regular basis, but I haven't done it yet. Still not sure that it's right for me. For me the last mahor panic was totally out of the blue.... I think that's the reason it caused so much damage to me emotionally. Until that point I had overcome my agor symptoms and had the panic attacks under control. Not that I didn't still have them, but I was able to cope and work through them. I think there were just too many things going on in my life at one time, then having a so called "safe person" turn on me was overwhelming. So I do still rely on "safe people" for lots of things... but I try to surround myself with encouraging people who will keep me motivated to fight this. I don't need someone who will just pacify me. And for the most part when I am with people it is because I WANT to be with them, not because I HAVE to. I love being around people Smile Alone is boring Smile lol. I'm lucky though because my kids actually enjoy being with me and hanging out, and my parents are very close geographically and emotionally to me. I also have my sister within a few miles of me, and my brother... and my best friend. So I have a great support system Smile

I also don't think it was just the panic attack that set me back..... it was the trust issue. That someone that was supposed to be close with me turned on me so quickly. So the trust is just gone now.

I also think for some people the need to have someone you trust close by can stem from past traumas. I know I have this issue from my childhood and into my teens..... I've been through some pretty crappy stuff in life that caused a lot of my panic and phobic issues.

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05/21/2012 11:35 AM
Etherealgirl

The thing about "safe people" (I love how we use "these"Wink Wink Anyway, the thing about these people is that they can change on you. Like Conn mentioned in her last post,

"I think there were just too many things going on in my life at one time, then having a so called "safe person" turn on me was overwhelming."

We are all only accountable for ourselves. No matter how much we may want someone there to help us throughout this doesn't mean that they'll stick around. This can be applied to "normal" people, too. No one owns anyone. It's a scary thought to know that the only person you have power over is yourself. The rest could just be passerby's in our life. You never know when they are entering or exiting.


05/21/2012 12:39 PM
Conn65
Conn65  
Posts: 11782
Group Leader

I agree to some extent with what just about everyone has posted.... But I always say go for whatever works for you Smile I guess it boils down to "it is what it is".... if having a safe person helps you and gets you out of the house, then by all means have a safe person. If you feel strongly that you don't want to become dependent on another person, then don't allow yourself to have that comfort. I personally don't rely on safe people so they can have "control' over me... quite the opposite. I am VERY stubborn and won't allow anyone to control me...and definitely would NEVER put up with any form of abuse. But I do like to have people around when I'm having high anxiety times because it's a great distraction. When we are busy in conversation or just hanging out with other people we won't concentrate on the panic as much. Everyone around me knows to just hang out and have a good time... and NEVER ask me that forbidden question when I'm anxious... "are you ok"? That just reminds me that I should be panicking lol.

05/21/2012 02:02 PM
mem8445

OMG safe people? I don't have that......;(

I've never trusted anyone EVER to be my safe person and make myself go out by myself and deal with it if I start to feel that panic attack coming on I think "Now what the hell is this?" It's usually because I have some anger issues going on. Like I don't want to be going where I have to go.The reason I have to go is because of another anger issue and it goes on and on till I realize bamm it's gone.

As long as all my family stays away I'll be fine.

That goes for husband's family too as they are a mess and OMG always calling here wanting a hand out.

I finally put a stop to that and now none of them come around here any more LOL!!!!!

So no safe person not even hubbie(in fact he makes my attacks worse!!!!)

I love being alone because I never had one second to myself when I was growing up and so many took advantage of me that when I finally broke loose I found that being alone was like a gift to myself. I always lived alone and hated when some of my friends would come over and try to start a party and the next thing I knew I had a house full of assholes from hell screwing up my house and cleaning my frig out!!!

I never had a phone or a TV which bothered many of them and so I told them tough shit I work for what I have and don't need that crap. Phones piss me off so much that when mine rings here at home I go off before I look at the caller ID.

So I guess I'm different and don't feel I need a safe person and have always played well by myself. Like Connie said her safe person turned on her and I had that going on all my life and there was never any safe people in my life so push many away if they get too close. Hubbie saw that about me when he first meant me and knew something wasn't right somewhere in my life and gave me lots of space and would not show up at my house for days. If he saw me at work he would ask what day was a good day for us to get together and if I said no day he would understand.(dang I worked 2 jobs I was beat)

But when I started reading here about a safe person I though hell that's myself!!!!!


05/21/2012 02:17 PM
damselndistress
damselndistressPosts: 17353
VIP Member

Doing something I don't wanna do-yep that's 75% of my life.

05/21/2012 06:21 PM
mattcr
Posts: 91
Member

Tina, David, Damsel - thanks for supporting my P.O.V. I know there is a LOT of gray area on this topic, but it's nice to see that at least a few agree with me.

BTW Damsel...what is your real name? I feel like I've been referring to you by your screen name for too long. Smile


05/21/2012 06:30 PM
damselndistress
damselndistressPosts: 17353
VIP Member

I'll pm you.

05/21/2012 11:29 PM
SillyOMe
SillyOMePosts: 21588
VIP Member

Very interesting....... for sure! Smile

05/21/2012 11:32 PM
SillyOMe
SillyOMePosts: 21588
VIP Member

Question: (Fidget reminded me of this)

!: Everyone post how they played as a child. Were you alone a lot? Or did you always have someone around to play with.

2: Did you sleep in your own room, or share one with a sibling?


05/21/2012 11:38 PM
Etherealgirl

As child I played a lot by myself. My sister who was only a grade older than me was uninterested in "playing" with me and only used me when she was bored.

I slept in my own room.

Silly, what are you getting at? I'm interested to know!!!!

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