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05/01/2012 06:21 PM

Sad

Nannabird
NannabirdPosts: 182
Member

I was so proud of my accomplishments today. My grandbaby was born tonight and my friend who knows what I go through, told me how I should've been there and there are things I could've done to be there.

I fear judgement over this all the time and I'm trying to justify myself by saying I could've chickened out and not gone at all.

My happiness turned to crap and guilt =(

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05/01/2012 06:25 PM
Conn65
Conn65  
Posts: 11233
Group Leader

Nanna, I'm so sorry your friend said that to you. It's so hard for people to understand what it feels like to deal with this. Don't let someone else's words take away the happiness of what you accomplished today and the thrill of having a new grandchild born. You will have many many years enjoying that child and you did exactly what you felt you could handle today.

You should still be very proud of yourself !!!


05/01/2012 06:28 PM
damselndistress
damselndistressPosts: 16951
VIP Member

What were you supposed to be doing?

My mom wasn't there for any of my births and I guess she would have if I asked or needed ?


05/01/2012 06:31 PM
Nannabird
NannabirdPosts: 182
Member

well, there were too many people there to begin with. No one can even see her or the baby yet. It's almost 10 pm here and that's what I thought, what could I do other than sit ina room. My son was nervous and I did go up there for him and braved everything I could to get up there. I hate this. I dont even know if I wasn't anxious I wouldve stayed there all day unable to see anyone but hospital waiting room.

05/02/2012 04:23 AM
valentin
Posts: 204
Member

Dear Nanna,you have a medical illness called agoraphobia which is not your choice.This illness is extremely unpleasant and disabling.As disabling as pneumonia or broken legs.Yes,with will power and effort you can increase the possibility of getting somewhere in exactly the same way as trying to get somewhere with 2 broken legs or pneumonia,but it EXTREMELY EXTREMELY difficult.The fact that your illness is in your mind/brain/emotions does not make it any easier.Ask an epileptic or an autistic person.The fact that many cannot understand this is not your problem.Never feel bad or guilty about your illness/disability.You have a right to your restrictions.

05/02/2012 04:31 AM
catlover7731
catlover7731  
Posts: 469
Member

You have nothing to feel guilty for. I am sorry your friend does not understand this illness.

05/02/2012 08:56 AM
jpooh38

NANNABIRD- First MEGA HUGS from me!!! I loved your poem you wrote me. lol see I am back!!! Wink Second- I am so sorry for the guilt. Don't let it take over you. You are doing the best that you can. Baby steps and positivity. Not everyone is going to get it and understand it. But know that you are doing the best that you can. Don't put negative thoughts because that won't do you any good. Just keep doing the best that you can!!! Smile

05/02/2012 09:47 AM
Nannabird
NannabirdPosts: 182
Member

YAY Jpooh!!! Welcome back!!!! I went again this morning and did fine =) I always function better in the mornings! So glad to see you are back! hooray!! =D

05/02/2012 09:53 AM
Nannabird
NannabirdPosts: 182
Member

Took this earlier today =)[/img]IMG 0313

05/02/2012 10:03 AM
damselndistress
damselndistressPosts: 16951
VIP Member

Precious!Smile
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