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02/16/2012 04:15 AM

Agree or Disagree?

silverguy
silverguyPosts: 5234
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

The safe person in your life is nothing more than an enabler, no different from the one who buys liquor for an alcoholic. They allow you to accept agoraphobia and keep you from pushing yourself by doing the things you should be doing, or at least trying to do!

AGREE OR DISAGREE?

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02/16/2012 04:24 AM
jmick
jmickPosts: 13899
VIP Member

Disagree... for the most part. If someone you know has issues going outside, and you offer to help them by picking some stuff up at the store, you're just being a nice guy. The responsibility to get better has to lie with the actual agor. Maybe they don't care if they get better. I wouldn't fault them for it, getting better sucks, and it's a process that never actually ends.

As for me, I can't say I have an enabler. Once in a while if someone's going to the store, I may say "Hey, pick me up a bottle of coke." But everyone does that once in a while, not just agors.


02/16/2012 04:41 AM
crawlingbacktostart
crawlingbacktostart  
Posts: 1103
Senior Member

^Getting better really does suck. This sobriety thing is a lot harder and much more uneventful.

I suppose I can see both sides, but if a person doesn't want to help themselves, what more can you really do? Disagree.

I guess I've never really had a safe person, unless my bottle of xanax grows a pair of legs here soon. ha The whole family 'gets it' and I suppose they could be counted as safe people, but I rarely go anywhere with them. I rarely had to, but if I had to run to a bad part of town to get dope, agoraphobia took a back seat, anxiety was still rampant but I suppose if you wan't something bad enough, well.


02/16/2012 05:43 AM
lilbit7711
lilbit7711  
Posts: 247
Member

Both agree and disagree...on one hand its good to have a safe person to help you get out, which is some exposure. But on the other hand if your safe person doesnt try to help you go farther and on your own some (like walking into a store alone), then your just dependant on them and not really getting farther,

02/16/2012 01:14 PM
Zahc
Zahc  
Posts: 645
Senior Member

It depends--actually--on your paticular definition of 'enabler' you choose to use.( again, 'scuse the pun ).

If you mean an individual who as an accessary, promotes negative, dangerous, or illegal behavior, or whether that individual helps one to do things that already rquire assistance, re: walking; doing laundry; buying groceries; driving a car--often--when there is NOBODY to render such assistance...that's different. Accessary, or Assistant. Therein lies an enormous difference between the two.


02/16/2012 01:50 PM
mem6197

By the looks of the answers, I am in the minority on this. Wink

Agree - IMO, a true enabler holds back the agoraphobic from even trying to succeed. This is not healthy - for either person.

Post edited by: justafraid, at: 02/16/2012 01:50 PM

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