Agoraphobia Support Group

Hi

i recognised I had some pent up anger to day. Its with this long lingereing intense anxiety so I piled up my large pillows and wacked the hell out of them with by bat. There was still some more there but I was to exhausted to do anymore besides my fibro was hurting.

I needed to get angry with this anxiety. I will be seeing my psyc in Feb sometime I am definately going to ask him if he can give me something I can take everyday as it is everyday nearly all day and meds i am on i can t take everyday as they are addictive. I have started cbt. I am doing deeep breathing and relaxation too and i have started biofeedback and having prayer now and again. I trying everything but still the anxiety is to much.

anyone else feel like this? [img]

I get hopping mad fast and it about burns a hole through my chest.

And it takes me like a whole day or so to calm down.

I don't think I've been this way my entire life I think it's partially hormonal due to those years coming up for me-45 and the anxiety.

I never remember getting that angry before in my life.

So I don't know how to prevent that from happening since it goes off almost like a reflex effect.

You mentioned it takes you a whole day to calm down. Is there anything you do that helps you to calm down?

calm.com or meditationoasis.com you need to practice daily relaxation skills like listening to calming music, etc, and then it will get better and exercise to get that adrenaline out of you in a healthy manner.

Thanx tennis your a star!

Oh I have to block it out.

What I get is a flooding of emotions.

Okay this is what happened last night.

I was on a different forum trying to help someone that was having pain.

I have been a nurse for 20 years but no longer able to work.

So I was sincerely trying to help.

Told a story about a person I took care of on hospice etc etc.

Then I get back on hours later to find a note from the moderator that said this....I edited your post based on your hospice story. I could tell you were trying to tell us your patient OD'd and through that every other entry you made you were trying to indicate that this member was overdosing. Then she posts a list of the forum rules and tells me to return to my kind self. I was like WTF! I was instantly burning inside.

I wasn't mad that she edited the posts whatever I probably would have never even looked back and noticed but she totally misinterpreted my story and then tried to tell me what I was trying to convey in every single entry and she was totally off and then disciplined me by telling me to return to my kind self.

Well I posted in the forum I'm sorry but I've been misunderstood...and said none of my patients ever overdosed. I don't have any issues with anyone taking narcotics. I gave them and got them ordered for patients and that is just normal.

I did not make any reference to her comments only said I wished to clarify my story with the hospice patient that there was no overdose involved ever with anyone I ever took care of in my 20 years.

They deleted it.

Well the thoughts just flood me because here I cannot work. Here I cannot try to even give helpful advice based on my nursing experience without getting accused of things.

Let me tell you being a nurse is just a foreign thing. People don't get it all that is involved unless you've done it. I get that. Normal routine things that nurses have experienced and are normal to us freak people out and they don't get it.

But the fact that I can't even help people or use my skills at all just crushes me. It's like it's all gone.

So I feel such loss plus just humiliated from these crazy accusations.

So I just had to turn it off totally get my mind off of it cause that burning in the chest will just kill you.

I literally feel it.

Situations like that are just toxic for me.

I did communicate with both the administrator and moderator.

But every time I did it just brought out the anger and pain again.

And even now talking about it I feel the burning in my skin again.

I have to stop.

It's like I just cannot handle stress any more at all.

It's really unfortunate that it is that way but for me for my health I may just have to avoid those type of situations all together.

But to answer your question I have to just block it out and not engage.

It takes hours then for the burning to stop.

i'm sorry you had that experience with some crazies on the internet. Don't let that stop you from genuinley wanting to help others out there with your skills. Others that will value and appreciate your wanting to help. I am glad you stood up for yourself. you were wrongly accused and misunderstood. It's like they were"nt hearing you either. You have every right to be angry. It also sounds like you are going to do the right thing for your health and stay away from these toxic situations. Tks for the suggestions. Do something nice for yourself hugs riz

Anger isn't always a bad thing. I think it gets bad publicity though. Anger causes us to make decisions and take action. Here is a thread that I had started about EI (Emotional Intelligence)

http://www.mdjunction.com/forums/agoraphobia-discussions/ general-support/2950614-is-emotional-intelligence-the-key- to-recovery

I don't necessarily think anger is a bad thing either but I question why I get so hopping mad.

In the example I gave there after I calmed down I thought wow I totally overreacted.

I was very hurt and frustrated and I think felt totally powerless about the person's accusations.

I felt powerless and defeated and as if I had no value.

And that made me angry even though those things were not true.

Do you understand your triggers riz?

Is there anything you can put your finger on that is causing these feelings?

I think the only e.g I can give it when I told my therapist about how angry I am with this anxiety and how it stops me and her question was,,, Do you remember a time like this before when you felt like this? I said yes it was like when my father was always trying to stop me not letting me do what I want to do

So I just wondering if you remember a time before when you felt hurt, frustrated and powerless over someones wrongly accusing you of something you did not do and treated you like you did!nt have no value