Agoraphobia Support Group

This happens to me every once in a while. The pills are a big help, but I don't want to think about them. I don't want to seperate them into their weekly case. I miss taking them and don't function because of this anxiety.

Why don't I want to take my meds? That's a good question, KittenMittens. I hate being dependent on them, it hurts my self-esteem. They cost a lot of money that I don't have. I've been taking them since I was seven, something my parents forced on me, antidepressants that I did not think I needed at the time and were not approved for my age group. To this day I wonder if they did more harm than good.

Medicating yourself is essentially poisioning yourself. I don't want to think about my disorders, and their treatment too much. All of these things are a cause of anxiety. Thinking about meds is like thinking of a long To Do List. Right now, I think that it's motstly that I hate being dependent. Makes me feel incapable and weak.

It's strange, I've never talked to anyone about this so much before.

1. Think of it as your vitamin (ya, not real powerful, but it's something)

2. (I like this one) If you had to take meds for your heart, kidneys, cancer, thyroid, etc. you wouldn't feel "guilty" or "controlled" by them would you? Well, then why should meds for your brain chemicals be any different. It's a condition and you need to treat it with meds, just like millions of other people treat all kinds of conditions with medications.

I've gotten past the med guilt...I've learned after 20-some years, that even when I'm feeling better, and dont' want to be dependent on medication, if I got off of it I will crash and it's just not worth it.

I don't understand why we all think that meds for mental health are any less "valid" than meds for other conditions...isn't that strange? I know because I am guilty of the same.

My anxiety isn't in taking them but rather forgetting to take them. It all blends some days and I am terrified of running out of meds, especially now that I am on Effexor. I ran out for a week in early July because of a screw up at the pharmacy, I ran out and I had a panic attack for almost a week straight. I thought I was dying. It was absolutely horrible. It is a withdrawal symptom though and I don't have benzos to help deal with it. I also found that I was taking double doses some days too. NOT a good idea to take another dose if you think you have forgotten. Makes a person very, very sick.

I can't find my pill box and I always forget to get a new one. I am glad that I only take 2 meds right now. I don't mind taking them, I just don't like splitting them up because it does make me forget.

It pisses me off when others seem to look down at us and think we are junkies because we take pills. Whatever! I will do everything and anything to heal and if it means taking medication then so be it! This is a physical illness not "just in our heads".