Agoraphobia Support Group

Help me through this day Dear Lord. I am in a "pickle" I guess you could say. I have been away for quite a while due to no computer (had to pawn it) and no internet. Anyway, anxiety is back with a vengeance. Why? I don't understand it at all. Let me tell whats been going on. Ok, my husband is a recovering addict/alcoholic. He went into Rehab April 21st. Went thru the 28 day program (actually a bit longer due to detox). Well, I stayed here at my grandmas the entire time he was in rehab. I was fine. Had minimal anxiety. The whole time he was using I was fine anxiety wise..I would have minimal anxiety but nothing I couldn't handle. Now that things are looking up, I am a mess. A big fat mess. He got a job about an hour away on a golf course about a month ago. He brings me here to my moms/grandmas (they live beside each other) every day. Well, that was all fine and well until my mom had to go back to school (she is a teachers-aid). She starts back today and although she hasn't left yet, I'm a nervous wreck. I keep gagging, and have the tightness in my chest and just wish she wouldn't leave. Gma is still in bed. We will have no vehicle here today..ugggh. I'm freaking out. Sorry this is so scattery, it's how my brain feels. Help..what do I do??? I have been having major panic attacks and I'm so scared to have one here. It's almost like I'm alone.

What CAN you do Aimee? This is something that you are going to have to deal with. Change can make us have anxiety attacks. You KNOW you are not alone, and that you will be fine. It's your mind tricking you into panic mode.

The only thing you can do is take a Xanax and do something that will get your mind off things right?

I make myself play a PC game that requires me to get my mind off the real world and concentrate on the game. That gives my body time to relax.

Sounds like you are feeling a little trapped too. Maybe today is a good day to bake a cake or cookies? A little treat for yourself and something to occupy your mind.

If you do, I want some too!

I have attacks after traumatic events are over. You would think we would be wrecks during the event but, I can get through almost anything at the time it happens. Once things calm down I have learned to expect the anxiety of it all to hit me. This disease is tricky and has it's ways of hitting when you least expect it!

Hi guys, I'm sorry for being whiny. Thank you Silly and Hope for your replies. Silly, you are right, this is something I have to do. My momma can't just not work. Isn't this a damn selfish disorder? Every since Jeremy has been out of rehab I have focused on nothing but myself..what a crock of dookey. Deep breaths..

Hope that's the way it goes for me..I sure didn't realize it up until this point. When things seem better..I get worse. Sigh. Thanks you all..love you guys. I have missed you all so friggin much. I got a rental (Rent One..haha) laptop and 8 hours Mon-Friday of high speed internet, so you all will be seeing more of this chunky chick.

Mmmm..cookies or a cake sound mighty good Silly, I'm trying to cut out sugars though..but ya know what..I might see what kinda ingredients I can dig up between gma's house and mommas house and make something anyway. Maybe a peach cobbler (with splenda)..that sounds yummy.

Hi Aimee....being alone is one of the toughest things to do as an agor....I go through that everytime I have someone around me all day (family, visitors, vacations) and then poof!! They vanish and I become totally anxious from being alone.

For me alot of it has to do with not having anything to do and being stuck at home. I HAVE to have a project to help me "ease back into it" so that I can keep my mind occupied and make the time go faster.

Try to think of something new to learn, find a room in the house that needs painting....the baking idea is great too!!! Like everything else, it will take baby steps and time, but it will get better and you will slowly get used to it. It is a major change so what you're feeling is totally understandable.

Get on here and post as much as you need to!!! We all understand what it's like freaking out from being alone~ with us you AREN'T alone as much HUGS!!!

I can relate to you somewhat, I feel terribly lonely even at times when I am not alone...actually I am never alone anymore and I know that is reinforcing bad behavior...anyway...rationalize with the irrational thoughts. Keep yourself busy while your mom is gone, tell your panic to go away, your mom and husband need to work. I hate how panic makes us irrational...anyway you will get used to staying with your Grandma since you can't avoid it I suppose. Good luck!

Hi Crissy, you are so right, I have to get some type of project to keep my mind off of this crap. I haven't had to be with just grandma in a long time so it's hard. I love my grandma, don't get me wrong, but I don't classify her as a "safe person" since she doesn't drive. She has a ton of stuff that needs done in her house so I will probably do some of that (mopping, vacuuming, etc.). Mom works downtown so it isn't like she's far (only about 5 minutes) but you know how anxiety can make minutes seem like hours. Blah. I know I'll be ok..I just gotta keep telling myself that. I'm at my moms house right now trying to do that "staying alone" thing. Gma's house is only a few feet away so if I have to run over there I will. Thanks for your reply!

Banaberry, I get the alone even when someone is around feeling a lot too. Especially at night. My husband will be right beside me watching tv, yet I feel like I am the only one there. Scary to say the least. I too hate the irrational part of anxiety. I just hate anxiety period. I think this is excellent exposure for me..lol I see my counselor today and am going to see about getting started with cognitive behavioral therapy. I gotta get better and maybe this is a start. Thank you for your reply!

Post edited by: aimeep80, at: 08/15/2011 08:54 AM

Aimee I'm alone in the house. My son is away for a few days. I like the site on days like this because I hate to be alone too. I can do some things alone but,I sure the heck don't like it! You are not alone you have all of us for company! From one chunky chick to another! <3

Aww Hope (((((Hugs)))))) I haven't been alone since I was 18 and I'm 31 now. I dunno what I would do. I love it here and have missed it terribly. Even when I stayed at my gma's while my husband was in rehab I couldn't get on here because my gma's computer messes up a lot. I'm glad I have my own computer again. Big ole hugs!