Agoraphobia Support Group

I was skimming through some of the resources MDJ has made available to group leaders to help aid in running the group. I came across MDJ's official guidelines dealing with talk about suicide, so I thought I would share these guidelines so everyone knows what is OK and what is not. MDJ's guidelines are pretty much identical to what I've asked of the group in the past, so most of you probably already know about these rules of thumb.

Essentially, making a threat or saying that you are going to kill yourself is NOT okay. MDJ is not equipped to react to these kinds of threats. We are not a suicide hotline, and our leaders are not necessarily equipped to deal with such threats. Some leaders may have training in this area, but that is a rare exception.

That being said, discussion about suicide is certainly okay. It is a very real component to depression that goes along with most of us that have agoraphobia. So we can certainly talk about our experiences, our thoughts, how we deal with these thoughts, etc. So really, the only thing we don't want to see is someone saying that they plan to hurt themselves.

I will add that these guidelines also apply to diary entries as well. I can understand that some may consider diary entries a private area to talk about anything, but they are viewable by everyone, so the Administrators of MDJ have chosen to apply this policy to diaries as well.

Nothing has changed. These are essentially the rules we have been following anyway, I just wanted to provide a reminder and add that this these rules are not made by the whim of the group leaders, they are MDJ guidelines.

I hope everyone continues to feel comfortable coming to the group, whether in a public post or private message, whenever you need help. But if your situation has gone beyond thoughts of suicide to the point where you have a plan to do so, please call 911 immediately.

Thank you for the info Kevin.

Ok, no threats, right? But.....that doesn't mean we don't want you all to talk to us when your at that point, that point where you see no other option. It's all about talking about REASONS you feel like you do. What actually HAPPENED. The CAUSE. People have more of a chance of actually being a help to you if you talk about the reasons, the facts......and we want to be a help to you, especially if your at the point where you have to remind yourself of these guidelines.

After receiving a personal message related to the discussion of suicide on the forums, I feel, while it should be obvious, that I need emphasize the following:

The Group Leaders of the Agoraphobia Support Group are simply other people that suffer from agoraphobia. Our job is to help encourage discussion, make sure everything that is posted is appropriate, and keep the group otherwise organized. We ARE NOT doctors, therapists, or in any way trained to handle people contemplating suicide. We ARE, however, a support group, so of course we want you to come to us if you need someone to talk to. But please understand we are not professionals.

I just now read this post. Sorry Kevin.. I'm self-centered sometimes what can I say? LOL

Yeah, it's crossed a lot of minds..suicide.. sometimes. Suicide is a ugly thing that is a last resort. Usually brought on by depression and absolute anguish. If you feel like that, you need to dial 911 or your nearest relative or something other than just wallowing in the emotions until you do it.

It is often a chemical reaction in your brain.. so I suggest taking your medication!!!!! It ALWAYS cured me of those thoughts. But then, I'm not a Dr., psychologist or anything of the sort. Though I have played one before.. but that's another subject!

Post edited by: SillyOMe, at: 01/04/2011 05:27 PM

Kevin, thank you so much for posting this. I know it will be taken wrong by some, but it is helpful to have guidelines to follow. I have had a couple people from other groups discuss suicide in pm's and it is certainly a subject that makes you feel helpless when trying to deal with someone who feels that suicide is something they would consider. You just can't help the way you would like to through a computer. I was left feeling helpless and terrified that this person would actually follow through with threats.... and what can you do to help them when you can't get to them or even know where they are for sure? I agree that a discussion about suicide in general can be ok.. We've all been in such deep depression that the thought of that probably went through our minds at some point. But actually saying you want to or are going to hurt yourself isn't fair to those who have come to genuinely care about you through this site.

Having just gone through my brothers suicide attempt this past weekend and his many attempts through the years I can say suicide (and even attempts) are a horrible thing to deal with. I don't even talk to or have any relationship with my brother, but the pain it caused his daughter and my parents was difficult to watch. I hate that anyone is ever in so much pain.....

And thanks to all the GL's who are here to make sure guidelines are followed so all the members can feel emotionally safe to read and post on the site

Post edited by: Conn65, at: 01/04/2011 06:00 PM

I don't have any words.... other than sending me a message like that is a real good way to get yourself blocked.

I agree, it isn't fair. I think everybody has to keep that in mind too. I mean, I was a suicide mentor for years on a helping teens site, and the majority of people that said they wanted to end their lives really just wanted someone to hear them, listen to them, validate their feelings and that what they were going through wasn't right. As far as I know, I never lost anybody. but what I want everybody to realize, is that most of the people here, if not all, will do that for you without you having to say those words, make that threat. While we are not proffessionals, we are caring people who can probably really relate to at least the feelings you have. We are family...trust in us.

I agree ,few of us here are equipt to deal with someone who is actually threatening suicide ,and for some it would be very traumatic to read posts like that .Having said that I also agree that its important to be able to discuss these fellings and our experiences in a general way..and to be able to offer empathy for those who are feeling trapped in that darkness .

Personally I would urge anyone who feels they are really on the brink to call for medical help or a dedicated hotline with trained staff straight away .There is an awful lot of very effective help out there and no one needs to suffer that dangerous hell alone .

I have been waiting to post on this thread, I am guilty of comming here when I am in that state of mind. Sometimes after I have made very unwise or bad choices. But come here I do, for help, guidence, understanding, and for the strength to continue.

At one point, if a kind and wonderful member, had not cared enough to send me a Hotline number, just asking me to call, I don't know what I would have done! All of those numbers are listed in the front of the phone book, but until someone cared about me, they were just numbers of more strangers.

It was not self worth that stopped me, it was that someone else valued me! That is invaluable to someone who can't take another breath alone...None of you have judged me harshly, you could have, several times. I could have been banned from the site, but your compassion and your own experieces permitted me to stay, there are no words to express my gratitude and my genuine love and respect for the members here. Thru your love I am becomming worthy...