Agoraphobia Support Group

Sooo... It is Saturday... 1:30 ayy emmm.... I can't sleeps an I'm very grateful for this automac spell corrector thingy or else non of you would be able to read what it is I satin. DD you know what when you take Ativan for your PA's that you shouldt drink wit it ??? Hmmmmm. Oh wells !!! Tell em doc that they can be shaven those rules up their beershindss Hahahaha.

Nope! There isn't a party..

Nope! There isn't a specialized occasion..

Can ya guess yet ?? Huh ? Huh ? Woooooooooooopssss !!!!! I just feel like drinking...!!!!!!! Wooooooooooooppssss. I tink I legit slip !

Could we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars ?! Cause I could really use a wish right now wish right now wish right now.

Ugh ! Why does life have to be so complicated ??

All I can think about is how jami hasn't talked to me all day.. And how she's been avoiding me... And how my sister might have asbergers or something like that ??? And how my stupid boss is being a huge prick face !! And jasons kiss ! And the party last night !! And how frustrating and agonizing my life is !! And must sound !!!

I have beer down my shirt ... I don't even like beer !! And I have budweiser!! Down!!! My shirt !! I'm so edged up right now ... I'm just gettin back from boom,, an I'm sittin on the front door step thingy.. And jami has my phone.. And I have no keys.. And jami isn't here.. Why is she avoiding me ?! ... I'm so upset ! N I can't stop crying !!! Urrgghh...

Yeah, watch the mixture of booze and benzos, or any other medication.

I can't really say a lot, I party way to excessively, my binge drinking had me vomiting blood by the time I was 18, but be careful. I've lost a few friends to combinations of alcohol and pills.

Take care,

Dylan

I drink a lot.. Most times without even thinking about it..

I still don't know what's going on between jami and I.. Mind you I did wake up on our bed this morning.. Really not knowing how I got there.. But tonight my friend nykee is having a party and I'm goin to go spend the night there.. Maybe give jami a little space... I really wish I knew what is going on..

Oh Raylee ,what is going on baby is that you are sick and unhappy and self medicating in a wAy that is making you feel worse..ok the high is good for a little while but with your meds its also dangerous and the lows will be lower too .I'm old enough to give you a little lecture so I will ,but please hear it in a kind voice ok .You are so young and trying to deal with so much ,partying is a way to escape but the escape isn't real sweetheart and its going to hurt you sooner or later .I think Jami sees this and its hurting her too because it is so hard to watch people we love potentially harming themselves .

My husband drinks more than he should and it worries me terribly but there is nothing I can do but either stick by him and tell him how I feel (which I do ) or walk away..which I wont ,but its hard some days just because I love him and dont want him to get sick .

I know when you are young it feels like life will go on forever and what you do now doesnt matter too much..I also know how boreing oldies like me sound ,but we have often been there and seen the damage..and we dont want it to happen to you .

Take care of yourself ok..please try to go a little easy on the booze and let yourself rest a little .xxxx

Everything is just so much easier when the world is being blocked out by the booze...

And this is something completely different with jami, she's been acting like this for a while, but it's just getting worse lately... She's very distant... I don't know..

I know it is hun ,I used to do it too when I was mega stressed from work ,and I could feel it getting a hold of me..its so easy to let it do that .I cant touch the stuff now because with my meds it just makes me horribly ill ,but I would still like to sometimes .Trust me I understand the relief you can get from it .

I think the thing to do with Jami is ask her whats up when you feel able to really talk about it .Its always better to know than to just guess because we always imagine things are worse than they really are xx

True I guess..

I have tried talking to her a couple times but she just keeps brushing it off to the side.. Maybe I'll talk to her tonight again.

Still looking forward to the party tonight though =/ I'm probably gunna end up uber tanked... Whatever.