Agoraphobia Support Group

I need to know if anyone has gotten a divorce after getting agoraphobia and did your ex fight for custody of the children? I am going through this now and he says I am unstable due to my disorder. We have not gone to court but I am wondering if anyone knows how the court will look at this?

I got divorced after getting agoraphobia but we didn't have any kids. I would assume the court would send you to a psychiatrist to make an evaluation. I don't think just the fact that you have agoraphobia would automatically give him custody. They will look at how you function, etc. and make a determination.

So sorry to hear about your divorce and I hope everything turns out okay.

No just the fact you have agoraphobia would not allow him to get full placement and or custody. You have to be proven to be unfit. There are plenty of people with illnesses and disorders that still function and still are good parents. They don't take away kids from parents that are deaf for example. So as long as you can prove that you can provide for their needs, i.e get clothes, pay utilities, get them education...they cannot take your children away. If he tries make contact with social services and find out what programs are available for you to use for free or low cost.

We all have certain rights in the states at least. One of them is to have children. There are certain things one must abide by to keep them, but it really isn't hard unless you make it hard. Let me know if there are any resources you would like me to help find for you if that does happen.

Sorry to hear about the divorce. Often times though things are blessings in disguise. I have found that I can now look at the good from everything I have experienced. It isn't always easy to see though when change is occurring.

So sorry you are going through this Pink. I have no advice but I don't think that agoraphobia in itself would cause you to lose your kids. You are not crazy, just limited. Actually if your husband works full time it might make more sense to the courts to keep the kids with you for much of the time. Best of luck to you. I think it would be best to have a consultation with a lawyer.

I appreciate everyone saying sorry, but I am the one that asked for the divorce. I feel like he has held me back from recovery and since we separated I feel so much weight off of my shoulders. The only thing I can't stand is to lose custody and going to court would be so hard. He told me that he has a therapist that will write him a statement saying that he should have custody 70% of the time. This therapist does not even know me. If anyone has any info on this please let me know. I am talking with my attorney today. I am just overwhelmed with how mean he is now. I also have family and friends that will help me with any needs I have.

I can tell you that my mother has serious mental health issues and has been on disability for 10 - 15 years. When she separated from her husband she was given full custody and her husband got to see her son on the weekends. Even today, courts do not like to take kids from their mothers. It might be sexist, but it's the way it is.

Yes in most states it is hard for the father to get placement or custody. There is a legal difference between the two. I did a research paper in my social welfare class about the child placement issues that exist. They cannot take your children away from you until someone meets with you. He can request for a state case worker to come to your house and see how things are. If they see that the children are not being properly cared for they put that into the notes and the judge ultimately makes the decision based off that. No therapist that has not met you can decide where the children are placed.

Also even if you don't agree with the proceedings that happen in court, you can appeal. Make sure you read or have a lawyer read with you ANYTHING that you sign so you don't unknowingly hurt yourself. There is a lot of small print and things that can be interrupted in various bad ways if you are not careful. So if you do not have a lawyer, I suggest you find one. There are divorce and child placement lawyers that exist that are not cheap. If your disability is recognized by the government through say ssdi, then you do have rights to certain legal resources (lawyers for example) for little or no cost.

Oh I also have some first hand experience with this all. My ex-husband had 2 children who were not properly being cared for by their mother and step-father. I decided to take action and got us a lawyer so he could get full placement of the oldest boy. He was very troubled. He did finally get it. It was a lot of yucky court stuff and lawyer stuff and took awhile. Actually eventually the mom just called him and said if you want the kid that bad I'm sick of this and you can have him. I have 2 new children and he is scaring them when he is over with me.

Let me know if you have any other questions.

What Kevin said.. the courts go with the mother most of the time. I would have proof that you can take them to the ER if needed and to and from school. That should about all you need. I divorced in the middle of my agor... I have my kids.

Thanks everyone for the advice. I just agreed today for him to have him one week and me the next. I feel like I just sold my soul to the devil. I am so sad and overwhelmed but I can't deal with fighting this man in court. I did tell him I would still need child support etc.... so we shall see. Please pray for me, I feel so alone. I won't know what to do with myself when my son is not with me. I am so use to having him every evening to take care of.