Agoraphobia Support Group

When I first joined this group back in Aug. 09 I was completely overjoyed by the fact that I had found people like myself. I would have settled for 5 or 10 but at the time there were about 260 members. I really thought I had hit the mother load of potential friends, agoraphobic friends. I remember how scary it was as I pondered a way to become included in the group. They all seemed so tight as if they had known each other for years. Well, I weaseled myself in somehow and eventually began to post my trivial little comments, quivering at the thought of being ignored. I was not ignored, in fact, it was entirely the opposite as the welcomes and hugs began to shower me. I went from no one to talk to, to a whole forum full of the most loving people I ever encountered as an agoraphobic. I remember getting my first PM, I’m pretty sure it was from Anna. How thrilling was that, someone actually sent me a message and wanted to be friends. Well, that was 8 months ago and I’m still here and we have 608 members as this is being written.

My point is this, those first few minutes when a new member arrives are extremely critical. I was kind of outgoing so I wasn’t too intimidated, but, most that land here are on the shy side and may need a little prodding, whether they have introduced themselves or not. We need to take a proactive approach when we spy a new arrival. I know how this place has changed my life and I want to make sure everyone gets that same chance. We have the power to change lives, that is huge and not to be taken lightly, and as hard as it may be to keep reinventing that welcome post, it has to be done. If you see a newbie online and quiet, send them a PM and say, “Hey Mary, I see you hiding over there, welcome to the group! My name is Steve and I’m here to help you with any questions you may have. If you want to just watch for a while, that’s cool too, just know I’m here if you need me. If you click on my picture and then find where it says, “Send Steve A Private Message”, you can type your question in the white box and hit send, it’s that easy. I’m so glad you are here, Steve.”

So how were you treated when you arrived? I would love to hear the story if you would take a minute and post it. Good or bad, what were those first minutes or hours like for you? Did you write an introduction, and if you did, go dig it up and repost that too.

We need to keep our eyes on the prize, and that is giving some lonely agoraphobic the gift of friendship along with the compassion they need to begin their new life, here, with us!

Note: I know we already do super job welcoming new members. I just want to keep this in the forefront of our minds, because each one we lose probably leaves with a little bigger hole in their heart than they had when they got here!

Post edited by: Fidgetgirl, at: 07/30/2010 08:47 AM

I joined on 12/22/09. I am not sure what brought me to the agoraphobic forum as I had signed up for the bipolar one. THIS forum has the most wonderful group of people that I have had the pleasure of meeting online. Hell, some of us have even chatted on the phone already. (DO NOT POST YOUR NUMBER IN THE PUBLIC FORUM FOR SAFETY REASONS!) A phone number exchanged in a pm and suddenly I could put a voice to a face. I am grateful for the chatroom too. It is a place to communicate what issues we may be having or just a place to let loose and have a little fun for a bit. The humor here has lifted my spirits more than once.

I had found "fleshy" support groups and for some reason, the area I am in actually charges for the group. What? Since when should someone seeking a group have to pay for it? That left me even more depressed and feeling so alone. I don't feel alone anymore. Sometimes, even on here, I feel lonely but it is tolerable now.

When I joined, I had such a deep depression and anxiety that would wake me with shaking and I didn't know what to do about it. I was already taking valium and it sort of stopped working for me. The more I read, the more I learned and I ALWAYS got a positive response from anyone that cared to read what I had typed. My pdoc changed my script and with the help of these wonderful people, my anxiety is controllable and I able to venture more. I still freak out in new places though. That is when I can hear Anna tell me "invite the anxiety along and know that you won't die from a panic attack, no matter how it may feel". I have done this and it works well.

These people REALLY care and it is nice to find others that can relate and support each other as many have friends and family members that just don't get it. Can we be cured? God, I wish but I have learned a lot on how to keep some of my anxiety in check.

Not only was I afraid to go "out" but I was afraid to post too. How the hell could I feel afraid to post? Like Silver, I wasn't sure if I would be flamed or not. I wasn't. That put me more at ease and I am grateful for it. If I can help at least one person feel a bit better, who knows, maybe I can help others too. My life is better for it.

I think the first pm and hug that I got when I got here was from Anna too. I have friends now. I wish some were physically closer because I can be brave sometimes and wander out alone. I would love to meet you guys in person too but that just doesn't sound feasible, does it?!

Anyway, I find this place to be a godsend. I don't feel as lost as I did. I have healed more in 5 months than I had in years. I treasure you people and love you! I have no intentions of ever leaving, (unless this stupid internet connection pukes on me again. )

Thanks for the reminder, Silver. It helps!

It seems like so long ago that I joined that it's hard to remember. I had already been a member of two other agoraphobia forums for a week or two. They were horrible! Maybe two or three posts a day -- not threads, but individual posts!

Anyway, I found MDJ and it seemed active right away. I'm pretty sure I joined around the same time as Silver. Anna, Krista, and a few other members that aren't around as often were here. In no time I was joking around with everyone. I even signed up for Yahoo Messenger and we joined a chat room a few times. Everything just seemed to "click."

I definitely think what drew me in was a combination of all the fun and the fact that I finally found people who understood what I was going through. I was still very secluded back then, never leaving the house. It was so foreign to actually be having a conversation with someone, let alone someone who got it. And obviously it has now become part of my every day and I'm lovin' it.

I joined on 3/27 I believe. I was looking for a way to connect with people and reading about agoraphobia and treatment and read that some people find it helpful to join online support groups. So I googled online agoraphobia support groups and was brought here. I have to say it all seemed so intimidating. I was anxious about posting but so desperately needed connections that I put my anxieties aside. Everyone seemed so close to eachother and I thought how will I ever fit in. Well I finally figured I for sure wouldn't if I didn't try and post. So this was my first introductory post:

Well I'm new to this. Never did an online support group before. I have been having a really hard time lately and am hoping this will help. I have been treated for major depression-recurrent, generalized anxiety disorder, panic disorder,and agoraphobia on and off since I was about 14. I am now 26. My anxiety and panic attacks have recently gotten really bad. I can only leave my house with someone I feel safe with or to a place where I feel safe (really only my mental health clinic). Even when I am with someone who I feel safe with sometimes I can't stay where we are. I really need to connect with other people who understand what I am going through.

I had 5 welcomes to my post and Silver sent me a pm. I got a lot of welcome hugs and as I grazed the posts I started to feel more comfortable. I think I even went into chat that first Sunday and was welcomed by everyone there.

I think it is very important to try to reach out to those that aren't as forward as I was able to be. I can see how one would feel intimidated and shy. I am going to try to always make the best effort I can to welcome all the newbies and make them feel included.

I only joined a week and a half ago, but I can honestly say that you all feel like family to me already...however disfunctional we may be

I want to say thank you to everyone for the warm welcomes and open arms. I have goosebumps writing this because you have done so much for me already. Just reading your posts and having a place where I can ask questions and be accepted. It has been a crazy week and a half for me. I've been scared and overwhelmed. And yet, when I find myself on here I am more calm than ever. I love you guys so very much!

~Jenny

Oh memory lane... Back on January 12 2010 when I joined, I remember my hands shaking as I typed. I was so distraut from life's current events it was hard to even put things in words. I kept most of the pain out of my first post.

I was sincerly greeted by many and slowly wormed my way into this group too. So many have come and gone since then. I wish they would all come back and post!

I may not greet everyone, but I try to keep up when I can.

This is my new home away from home... and I love it!

Remember this?

When I joined I was convinced that this wouldn't help me at all, and that I would probably sign up and never come back. I was pretty hopeless at that point and really really lonely. I remember posting a new here thread but i can't find it. lol. All i remember is Silver, Cheryl and Anna pming me and everyone responding immediately after I posted. Once i realized that these people actually wanted to be my friends and that they could help me, i was stuck. lol.

Hats off to ya Silver... another great editorial! I think Kittenmittens was the first member to contact me and I remember how good it felt to be welcomed here. I now try to welcome everyone, even if its just a short" welcome to the group message". I just recently became more attive here due to the chatroom. I find it helps me to talk with others that understand me. During the day if I start feeling anxious or depressed I think of the people here... knowing that they are here if I need them gives me the comfort and courage to carry on. Most times just thinking of them lifts my spirits. And when I start to question myself about wether or not I'm going to be ok, I remind myself that all of us here struggle from time to time but we are all actually safe and always survive to fight another day! Thank you and all the group leaders and members for being my friend and posting to the forums!

I joined the group the end of Feb this year. Kittenmittens sent me my first HUG. I was intimidated for awhile, I watched and read, and waited. One night I was really having a bad time of it and Kevin became my first PM and also my first Friend. Kisses , Hugs and many Thanx Kev!!!