my first post in this group

My daughter was adopted 23 years ago by my sister in law. She could'nt have children and they were such a loving couple. So I had a baby for them.I already had a son that was almost two.She has known all along that she was adopted and had a brother.She is in collage now.Everyday I live with guilt of seperating the two siblings from each other.The only time she contacts me is to cure a problem she has. Her parents called and told me she had a severe eating disorder and her health was at risk.She wanted to come down to see me and my son. ( her biological father is dead.)That was great news to me I thought.Well we had the discussion of why did you give me up.Well she has since become well and I'm no longer needed.My son calls her and she blows him off.Which now he tells me he does'nt have a sister any more.What do you say to him? He's hurt and feels rejected.

I don't know if any of this makes sense to you or not. I hope you know we care and are wishing you and your children the best relationship...and healing through everything you are facing! You and your son may benefit from an adoption support group, check into it! Professional grief counseling could be a benefit too!!!

I wish the best for you!!!

HUGS!!!

What I think is going on with her is she is jealous of him, because I kept him and not her.But we talk about the reasons of her adoption.She has always been told she was special because she had two mommies and two daddies.She asked all the questions that she wanted answers for.Sometimes in life you think you are doing the right thing and then you realize how in the world can four adults make such stupid decisions without looking at the big picture.These two childred have missed out on each others lives for so many years.She is getting married in 2009.Ijust wish she would talk to her brother.It's not his fault I kept him instead of her.