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03/21/2012 03:53 PM

Worst time of the year..

NicoleLee181
NicoleLee181  
Posts: 23
Member

Hey all,

I'm Nicole. I'll be turning 20 on April 6th. It's the worst time of the year for me. This really only started last year, when I turned 19. The same age my birth mother was when she gave me up. I think it just made me think about all the things that I was going through at that point in my life. For the first time in my life, I felt like I could relate to her. I have no idea who she is. I could pass her on the street everyday and not know it, but I felt a strange connection. Wondering if she was thinking about me at the same moment, not knowing me as anything but the little baby wrapped in pink who went home with two strangers. I constantly wonder if she wonders where I am, what I'm doing, if I'm happy, and who I've become. The thoughts are almost constant now that my birthday is getting closer and closer. Anybody else go through this? Being laid out and depressed when theyre supposed to be out having a good time and celebrating getting older?

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03/21/2012 09:08 PM
JAYEPAWS
JAYEPAWS  
Posts: 852
Member

hi I'm Jaye I go though this every year too... I wonder if my birth parents ever think of me or even my siblings.... in the 90's i wanted to know what was going on because i was depressed my anxiety was off the scale.... my mom showed me my birth name & I called the agency that they adopted me... I got all the info that she was 23 he was 30 they were both married before she dropped out of 10th grade to get married she had two kids 2 brothers & 1 sister.... she was on welfare & couldn't take care of me right before she gave birth to me she started to bleed real bad & I was six weeks premature.... i don't know their names the agency wouldn't do it..... they were going to get married but he decided against it...

my brothers were adopted too they don't care if they ever know anything about their parents but i would like to know who i look like.... to see if she ever thought of me wonder if i was loved doing ok....this has been going on for 43 years. we always knew we were adopted..

but i understand what you are saying... i think there are people that has across their mind some are just fine without knowing.

she love you to make sure you had a better chance at a good life... that's what i think about... i hope you have a great 20th birthday Jaye


03/22/2012 12:14 PM
sweetpea012607

NicoleLee181,

Welcome to the group. I agree with Jaye, I also used to feel this way. I can remember that my parents were contacted just before my 16th birthday with an updated medical history, and I wondered about some of these very same things. Since I have met my biological family, I no longer wonder. I guess it's different for everyone in their own situations...

Anyway, good luck, keep us posted and if you have any questions, post them or PM me.

SP

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