ADHD Support Group

I have always known I had ADHD. As a child, the term did not exist, but doctors told my mom I was an extremely hyperactive child. That was about all I thought of it. Until now, I have never seen it as a negative thing, but a gift. I have excelled all my life. So I never paid any mind to my "hyperactivity" and my OCD tendencies. Why should I as it has not prevented me from achieving my dreams and succeeding in "life."

The slap in the face that has forced me to seek diagnosis and therapy for my own ADHD is that it is ruining my marriage. My wife is fed up with my lack of attention, tunning her out, overreacting, lack of impulse control, lack of idenfiying social cues, and my hyperfocusing on things (particularly sex).

So here I am. I started therapy over a month ago. I read a book my threapist suggested and my eyes were, for the first time in my life, opened completley to ADHD. I have learned that it is far more than I thought, and that more of my "faults" or "gifts" relate to it than I could have imagined. I have learned why I can't conentrate on certain things very well, but can focus better than anybody on others. I have learned thay I may self medicate with many of the things I am addicted to, like exercise, sex, work, etc. I now know why I have a hard time concentrating in the middle of the day and do the stuff that requires long term concentration in the evening or early morning when I am tired. I now know why I am obsessed with lists to keep me on track. These are the self coping things I have developed througout my life wihtout knowing it was to deal with ADHD.

But now, I need help to save my marriage and it seems I may need to take medication to really make changes in my marriage. I am afraid of the drugs in that I fear they may kill what has helped me succeed in the rest of my life so damn well. But I am also curious as to whether they will help me succeed even more.

Overall, I feel a great sense of relief finally realizing what ADHD really is and that I really have it. A huge weight is lifted that makes me think I can change my odd personality traits that have always made people roll their eyes at me and that my wife is fed up with.

So here I am. I am not the posting type, but I need support and want to learn more about this and what I am and what I do and how it is ADHD and how I can change to overcome its faults.

Post edited by: donone, at: 03/15/2012 09:37 AM

I think you are very brave to take the step to learn more about ADHD. It must be very difficult after all of these years to make changes and I commend you for it. Who is providing the most support right now? It sounds like you are learning a lot from your therapist and hopefully you could also speak with your wife about how you feel during this transition. Based on what you described it seems like you are thinking in absolutes (all or nothing terms). I don't think you will lose yourself, or parts that you like most. Medication is a scary step, but it does not have to mean that you become lost. Perhaps speaking with a few adults with ADHD may help to shed some light on the experience.

Thanks. That is why I took the step to join this group. My wife is not supportive at this point. She is just telling me things need to change or else she is gone. She does not care whether it is ADHD or somehting more severe and does not want to hear excuses that I have some dissorder, she just wants things fixed. So my support is my therapist and my research and the only adults I can identify who have ADHD are in this board.

Post edited by: donone, at: 03/15/2012 09:39 AM

Hi donone and welcome!! I too was recently diagnosed ADHD and had some reservations about the medications. I had a feeling that I had it all along and also self medicated with extreme workouts and pot. My husband is also the definition of ADHD, but has not been to see a dr b/c of it. So naturally I believe that my 3&4 yr old has it as well. I have only been taking meds for it for one week, but my goal is to one day be medication free. I found that by ignoring the ADHD, that I started dealing with horrible anxiety and eventually panic attacks ( super scarey)!! I hope you find some relief and that your wife becomes a little bit more understanding. What happened to for better or for worse, right?

Hello and welcome. I am new to the dx of ADD/ADHD but I do know that the medication helps.

I'm sorry your wife isn't supportive but we are here and as long as you keep writing in we will help in any way that we can.

Thanks for the comments. I am one step closer to starting medication now after being evaluated and taking things day by day. I am curious whether there are folks on here who have had heart issues and what meds they have been prescribed for ADHD.

Post edited by: donone, at: 03/15/2012 09:40 AM