Hello all, I'm Aarti from sunny Singapore and am a newbie to MD Junction.
Im turning 30 in a few months and my ADHD was left undiagnosed until age 21.
There wasn't much awareness of ADHD here when I was a kid and being Asian, the mentality
was basically 'spare the rod & spoil the child'. So my troubles paying attention
in class and forgetting homework was considered careless or lazy. I was punished
of course by my parents and teachers, made fun of by my peers.
I daydreamed in class, watched the leaves sway outside while the teacher spoke
and could not sit still, often disrupting the lesson by standing up.
I was naturally a hyperactive, restless child who was bored silly
by the urban apartment life. I was a wild child once outdoors, climbing trees and
running at top speed! My thoughts were too fast and jumbled, my speech was
the same. Although I understood what was taught, my teachers often complained
about my lack of focus and that I did not realise my potential.
As a teen, my parents harsh punitive ways gave me hell and
I found myself getting increasingly frustrated by the constant
complaints, criticisms and punishment. Soon enough, I began to rebel and
played truant for days on end to experience life
beyond my confined space. Teachers screeched at my
carelessness and I could not care less. I knew deep down
that there was something wrong with me but I just had
no idea what it was. My outlets were drama classes, reading,
movies, playing the piano & cello. But the place I felt the most serene
was underwater so I snuck out of school plenty of times to go for swims that
calmed my nerves.
As I stumbled along, my grades got poorer and times got
harsher. My parents made me retake the 10th grade
entrance exams to college and I scraped through barely.
I was upset with myself, my parents and the people who
made fun or jeered at my oddball ways. I gave up hope on life
and lived my days in a zombie like stupor.
One day, I came across an ad for a new diploma course in psychology.
To my parents surprise, I asked if they would allow me to enrol in the
program to test the waters. I was 17 years old with no idea of what I wanted to
do with my life. Studying the human mind and our behaviours was an
appealing thought.
To my parents' relief and my own, I not only loved the area of
study but I excelled in it too. I lapped up the details as if reading
novels and my lecturers were always at hand for my eager questions.
It was at this point that I asked a professor for tips on
paying attention during lectures and absorbing what I studied better
because I now had an inkling that the troubles of the past
were not because I was stupid or lazy, it could be a learning disorder.
Upon graduation, I suffered a nervous breakdown. Things were
still bad on the home front and the pressure from studying, excelling
had overworked my nerves. That was when I sought psychiatric help and eventually
found out about my undetected ADHD. Learning of the
disorder and it's implications shed a whole new light on my
troubled past.
Since I had never consumed any medication to begin with,
I decided to keep it that way. Naturally, I have to be wary of caffeinated
drinks or sugary foods because it makes my hyperactivity spin out of control!
But Im still working around managing my jittery ways.
I enrolled in a Masters course for Counselling
but due to health problems and other stressors I was forced to take a break.
When I started going for lectures, my old insecurities and attention span troubles
came back. It got so bad that I took another break from the course and I'm still
finding the confidence & courage to complete the remaining semesters.
I hope to be able to find a balance between the ADHD and daily living.
Although it does not plague me as badly as a depressive episode does,
I do experience sensory disorientation when in shopping malls or among crowds.
It makes me dizzy, irritable and I hope to learn good coping
strategies through this forum. I also hope to be of support for fellow ADHD folks and caregivers
of people with the disorder.
Sending out hugs 
Post edited by: artyaarti, at: 09/12/2011 04:35 PM
