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mommyofsixFriend2U Posts: 971
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We admitted we were powerless over our addiction.....That our lives had become unmanageable.From the big book of AA. We perceive that only through utter defeat are we able to take our first steps toward liberation and strength. Our admissions of personal powerlessness finially turn out to be the firm bedrock upon which happy and purposeful lives may be built. Under the lash of our addiction, we are driven to AA, and there we discover the fatal nature of our situation. Then, and only then, do we become as opened -minded to conviction and as willing to listen as the dying can be. We stand ready to do anything which will lift the merciless obsession from us. I had gotten to this step after hitting my personal bottom ( everyone's is different) which was a suicidal thought. I was already dead inside from living with my obsessions. My life had become so unmanageable and I didn't know any way out of the misery I was in and causing others. I knew in my heart that I wasn't the person I wanted to be. I hated what I was doing to myself and others. How had I gotten here and why couldn't I stop? I tried so many times to stop and it only lasted a short time and I still wasn't happy inside. I hated feeling anything.... pain, happiness, anger, ect... I felt so guilty and ashamed. Finially one day I got off my butt and did something about it. I went into an inpatient treatment program for 30 days. I learned that I wasn't ALONE and I wasn't CRAZY! After treatment, I continued to go to meetings and aftercare and still do. THEY SAVED MY LIFE!!! I am hoping that my experiences will help others to seek help and live meaningful, peaceful, happy lives. Your Friend, Chris  I am not a doctor so everything I say is from my experience, my opinion, or advice from research I've done. You should always consult with your health care professional.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Yesterday is history...tomorrow is a mystery....today is a gift.... that's why it is called the present.
Your friend, Chris
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babies1 Posts: 1985
VIP Member
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Thank you so much for this post. I'm sure it will be an inspiration to others who are in that same mind set now. I know this is an old post, but when I read it, I know it still gives someone out there hope. Post edited by: babies1, at: 02/23/2010 03:01 PM Babies1 |
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kball Posts: 770
Group Leader
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Wow after these years in recovery and this step is still so powerful to me. I had to reach my "rock bottom" and it was not pretty. I was definitely powerless over my addiction and my life was unmanageable. At the time of my personal bottom I was living on the streets and a crack addict,homeless and selling my body and soul to get my next hit of crack. I was hurting myself and my 2 sons that were with their father,they did not know if I was dead or alive. My mom who cried everyday and my step dad who looked for me everytime they went into town. All this did not matter to me at the time,I was so ridden with guilt and shame, I hated myself. Finally I got tired ,tired of it all and I wanted help. I turned to God crying asking him for help not knowing if he even cared any more or not. Within minutes God answered my prayers and a cop picked me up for standing in the street. I knew without a doubt God had heard my prayer,I just laughed thru the tears. After spending 36 days in jail,which was unheard for that crime,but it was election year as the judge told me ,I called home and told them I wanted help getting clean. I went into a state funded treatment center for 46 days. I got out and started going to AA right away. AA loved me until I could love myself again. I love my AA group and the meetings. It helps me stay clean to this day!!AA taught me how to work the 12 steps where I learned this first step of recovery.`It was the beginning of a new life for me,this step is the most important one,if you don't believe this first step you can't go on to any others. Thank you for posting this. it is always a great reminder ,that I am powerless over my addiction. I have to remind myself of this cause when I tried to take care of the addiction myself it got me being homeless living in a abandoned shed at the end.Being in pain ,alone lost and miserable wanting to die!!! I am powerless!!! Kris I have an illness ,I am not my illness. |
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sewnup Posts: 705
Senior Member
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Isn't it amazing, the difference between being abstinence, and being in recovery? I am grateful cor my program of recovery and for my sponsor. Staying grateful is important in my life. The first step is the only one that you must do 100% of the time. Every day. Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can, and
Wisdom to know the difference.
Just For Today.
If you need medical or psychological help...don't ask me because I'm a nut.
I'm NOT an authority on ANY of the issues.
I AM, however still learning, and always will be. |
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kball Posts: 770
Group Leader
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Yes there is a big difference between abstinence and being in recovery. After being in recovery I can tell the difference in people I meet. I got involved with a man that was just abstinence and not in recovery,my therapist told me it was a train wreck waiting to happen if I didn't end the relationship. I was in love though and didn't listen,well she was right. I was hurt terribly. He still had the mentality and ways of an addict using. I realized then the difference. I am grateful to know the difference and be in recovery!!! Thanks for all your posts sewnup. Kris Post edited by: kball, at: 04/03/2012 04:48 PM I have an illness ,I am not my illness. |
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Jav Posts: 2
New Member
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After 5 and half yrs clean i relapse six months later i came back and find out the different, abstinence is been ok with being an addict surrender is accept recovery as the solution. ej sponsor step work mtgs ect |
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sewnup Posts: 705
Senior Member
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Abstinence just means that you have a period of time that you did not use drugs. It has absolutely nothing to do with being okay with the fact you're an addict. Kind of like when my husband would go for months without using, even though he said he was not going to use again, but he was not doing anything proactive. He later admits that he was just waiting for the "right excuse", even LOOKING for it! (in my humble opinion) Post edited by: sewnup, at: 04/05/2012 04:37 PM Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can, and
Wisdom to know the difference.
Just For Today.
If you need medical or psychological help...don't ask me because I'm a nut.
I'm NOT an authority on ANY of the issues.
I AM, however still learning, and always will be. |
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Jav Posts: 2
New Member
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I can only share my experience is what work for me n respect the experience of other because mine i felt and is what got me here.  |
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anamore Posts: 3926
VIP Member
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You are powerless over your addiction because the drug is in control. You hae to take the control away from the drug, stop the drug from controlling your life. You need to be in control and to do that you need to look at yourself, honestly, find out what triggers your addiction, what are you running away from. You can be clean for many years but if you keep running away from yourself you will eventually relapse. Look at the problems that caused your addiction and work on that. Take back control of your life. My advice is purely personal. I am not a Doctor. Please do not take anything I say as medical advice or a diagnosis. |
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sobersince00 Posts: 117
Member
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I am not powerless. My book tells me that I need to find the power and I have. For me drinking and using are but a symptom of a much deeper underlying character defect.Powerless people drink and use again I have seen it over and over. Until I found the power I could not stay clean.Don't get me wrong if I take the first drink or drug it is over but up until that point I have a say in what I do. In my profession I deal with addicts and alcoholics on a daily basis and the one's with the highest success rate are the ones that are not powerless. If I offend anyone sorry. I am not a MD. These are just my experiences I have seen over the years. If you want to be powerless be powerless but I suggest that you find the power... |
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"I've been a grateful member here for over 4 yrs this place has changed my life of course for the better, coming to the groups has enabled me to no longer feel so alone. As a group leader for the Bipolar Support group I can relate to others and am expressing my experience strength and hope and this is very rewarding, I've also made many supportive friends here whom I talk to some daily. I used to have a lot of 'lows' since becoming member here at MdJunction I no longer have these lows." (Dit)
