Addiction Recovery Support Group

Hi I'm clarissa22.i have first hand experience of drug and alcohol addiction! I've been at rock bottom and luckily I managed to seek help and turn my life around.its probably one of the hardest things I've ever done!and it was a long road.there is no quick fix!! It takes determination-u really have got to want to change!! It is hard hard work! But so worth it! The reason I'd like to join this group is to support people that are going through it and hopefully be able to help in some way! Even if it's just to talk! Im here! I have been through a lot-and if I could help some peeps! It's all been worth it.stay strong-keep focused and smile! One day at a time.im here if you need me.

We are so glad to have you. Yes you are so right it is worth the hard work,and it is hard work. You have got to really want to get sober or clean of drugs to do it. I am happy for you Clarissa22. Congrats you are doing it.

We need people to talk to and who will reach out to us here in the group. I need people who will post about there hardships and there good days and experiences good and bad. I need help in passing some hope so people will know they can do it to. You are needed and welcomed!!!

Thanks,Kris

Post edited by: kball, at: 02/25/2012 09:49 AM

Thanks kris.ive had some tragic news hence my disappearance! I'm back now-that made me smile,thankyou..it's nice to be needed Xx

Welcome! I've made alot of posts in this group and there are some truly fabulous ppl here who have been there, are going thru it and have lived thru it. I'm a revocering addict myself got hooked on diesel for over ten years then there was my closet painkiller addiction that I supplememnted my dope habit with, and today I'm clean from painkillers since 12/10/11 and free from diesel since 09/05/10 so don't give up hope EVER!!!! Big Hugs, Heather

Post edited by: fleabag73, at: 02/29/2012 05:24 AM

Clarissa I hope you are doing better now. Remember that is what we are here for is to hear the bad and the good. We can help walk you thru your journey of bad as well as rejoice in the good. You don't have to go thru the bad or the tragic stuff alone anymore. This is a good place to just vent sometimes also. Life is going to throw you some tragic things to deal with while you are trying to stay in recovery and it will be hard. It is hard. Dealing with pain and feelings is new to us addicts and alcoholics ,we use and drink to escape that crap called feeling.. Now in recovery we deal with pain,feelings and everything else life brings on and we do it sober!!! It is hard at times but we grow stronger each day in recovery. We learn with friends and support we are not alone in this. It makes it easier to bear. There is a light at the end of it all. It is called HOPE. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Kris

Post edited by: kball, at: 02/29/2012 11:27 AM

Hi Kris,

I appreciate you MSG to me I hope you got my response regarding my son James. I really appreciate you reaching out and offering to even talk to him. I did text him your number.

He has been homeless 2 months now. This is so sad. I feel his only desire is to use. He has a cell that I pay for and I am addicted to monitoring the Verizon website seeing his calls. Sadly he will not answer my calls. He occasionally will text me or his Dad. Yesterday I decided to block his ability to call or receive the obvious dealer numbers he has been calling. That prompted a text to me and his Dad. I had sent him a MSG saying I love him and believe in him and know he can have a worthwhile life. He responded: ok I love u too please stop blocking calls. it's going to cost me my life. I said pls call me James...he didnt. He texted his Dad: since I have been cut off I have been used, robbed and beaten up. His Dad said you don't have to live like this. There is a sober house right in Phoenix that is nonprofit, free has a room and 3 meals a day. The only commitment is to not use drugs. Call us and we can talk about how to get there. No calls from James

Today he sends me another text saying: please unblock the numbers I need to get my belongings. I said call me and we can talk about it. No call so far.

I would appreciate an objective opinion. My thought is he is desparate to connect with the numbers to obtain his next high... I cannot believe he wants to continue like this. He has options but does not seem interested

Thank you all for your support.

Patrice, James Mom

Hello. This is hard for me,honestly. Two things are going on here. You are not enabling him by blocking his calls ,that is good. Also I see it from an addict on the street who is desperate side of it to. Lets face it he is already in dangerous situations. You did the right thing. Why should you pay for the drug dealers calls. Wow that was hard for me to say. I am still an addict,but in recovery. I feel his pain and despair and desperation. His phone is his lifeline to civilization. The streets aren't civil not to him anyway. They are cruel to an addict who is homeless. The phone helps him live easier on the streets. Lets face it though if he needs a phone he should pay for it. Mom I hope you are prepared for how he is getting money to get his drugs. Think the worst. There is thieving and prostitution and pimping girls or selling dope. These are the choices. It is time to start talking to him about this on the texts. Tell him ,lets get help before this starts,james this is not you ,honey lets get clean before you end up in jail,dead or institutionalized. These are where addicts end up who don't get clean. If I were you I would think about an intervention If I could find him . Then from there straight into rehab. !!! The longer he is out there ,the more he is hooked.

Don't give up on him,ever. Remember who he really is. This James is the drug James. Love him,no matter how hard it is to at times. I know you are hurting,I am so sorry us addicts put you parents through this,but addiction is a disease and it takes over our mind,heart,body and soul. He can beat this addiction. He has to want to stop using.

Hang in there mom!!

Kris

Patrice, I feel like I need to explain why I told you what he might be doing to pay for his drug habit,I did not do it to hurt you,I would never do that, you are hurting enough. If he is doing something shameful to support his drug habit,the shame and guilt he feels is horrible and I am not making any excuses for him but those feelings are overpowering. They were for me anyway and for every other addict I met also that were doing any of them. The shame,and guilt made me want to stay numb longer cause I couldn't and didn't want to deal with those feelings when I would be sober or not using. It was a horrible pain inside of me,to know the things I was doing to get the money for the drugs,to know my family and my kids knew this made me sick to my stomach and as long as I was using I could just think bout using and not the reality of the consequences of my using. It helped me when my little boy,he was little when he told me this,called me one day and said Mom are you selling your body for drugs? I didn't know what to say. my boyfriend at the time said to say no,so I did,My son said well I just want to tell you its ok if you are cause I just love you mom and I just want you to come home and get better. He was 11 yrs old. My ex husbands new girlfriend had told my son i was prostituting. What a reality check for me though. When I finally did go home it wasn't until I could learn to forgive myself,5yrs late,but it was important that my family let me know it didn't matter what the drugs had changed me into ,they still loved me and believed in me. They knew it was not the real me. That meant the world to me. Me and my mom sometimes have talked about a few things otherwise they have never brought it up. Turns out they use to go looking for me all the time on the street. If only they would have found me ,things might be different with me and my sons now. I hope and pray everyday that they let me back in their lives one day. Anyway that is why I wanted you to realize what your son may be doing,so you know this and can tell him on phone its ok ,you still love him and forgive him,so he doesn't have to run away from you and the shame further. maybe he will come home sooner if he knows this. I wish I had.

Kris

Drugs make you desperate, you will do anything you have to...just to get the drug. You start doing drugs because there is something missing inside you, so you run away from those feelings by doing drugs, the things you do to get drugs makes you feel even less of a person, adding to your already negative view. You become someone else, the drugs control you.

So Patricia, know that deep down somewhere under all his pain and heartache, he loves you, he just hates himself right now. I believe as Kris does, love can change him but he has to realize and admit to his problem. It is very hard to stand by and watch him destroy himself, unfortunately that is all you can do. Once he admits to his problem and is ready for recovery, your love and support will be very important.

It is hard not to be able to help him now, just keep trying to get through to him, chances are he is not listening but I know my family was constantly there pushing me, I was in denial but it didn't stop them. They just kept telling me that I had a problem that I have to deal w/ my addiction, They did not stop, I know I put them through alot of pain before I finally did stop and did admit to my addiction.

This is a hard subject, because you want to give the parent's hope that their child will change and get clean but you can't give false hope or guarentee that they will finally admit that they have a problem and get help. All we can do is tell you what to expect and you have to just stand by and wait for him to hit bottom. We can support you and help you stay strong. So hang in there, don't enable him and keep that number blocked,