Acute Myelogenous Leukemia Support Group

My grandfather has AML he was all I had growing up for a father he is my hero and I cannot stand seeing and hearing him suffer through this. Unfortunately he is too old to do more than trial treatments and he is life extending more than expecting a cure. I wanted to be here because no one I speak with understands the toll this can take on a loved one watching and helpless. I do want all of you to know though that he is doing a treatment in Florida that has kept his levels fairly constant which means he may not improve and that makes me sad but he keeps it up in the hopes of helping someone with the same disease. I love his courage and strength to persevere despite knowing he will not be made better. He wants to do whatever he can to help others suffering. I can get more information for anyone about this treatment if you need it and just want you all to know I might pop in for support from time to time this is the hardest thing I have ever had to do.

Post edited by: Pmills9, at: 04/08/2010 01:32 PM

Well the day i dread is nearing. Today got the call i hoped i wouldn't ever get. My grandmother telling me now at my grandfather's doc visit they have told him there is no more that they can do. I got the call and as i listened to her say um fifteen times i knew something bad was up....then she says they project him to live just past the new year. I can't tell u how deja vu this is for my family. Last year my husband lost his sister in feb to stomach cancer at age 39 and now to think one year later i have to do this again....i can't i just cant. i was finishing school next fall and i needed him to see this at thirty five its the first thing i am this close to finishing.....i don't feel anything but loss and he isn't gone. I live too far to go see him and i am too tied up with my kids and my school But i cant let the last time i saw him be the last time.....i cant live with that.....oh i am so scared of losing my support he always fought for me....oh please more time just a little more time....i would just do anything.

well in the past four weeks several blood transfusions and lots of hard phone calls that last less than three sentences......he just can't talk longer. my grandma says the downhill slide is much quicker than she had expected and he just can't get enough oxygen....how do i cope i need one more hug one more moment to cherish he is ten hours away and i can't focus on my school or anything....i just want my hug....it is so hard.

Well the boot feels closer to my head....call today said that the doctors pleaded with him to take further transfusions but since they have become more frequent and last less time he has made the choice to cease those as well. I feel so helpless and empty there is this weight i feel on my chest and this lump i just cannot seem to swallow. I am desperately attempting to gather some money for the trip but not sure what will come of it. I wish i knew how to handle losing my biggest support. He always called me troubles....i was too but a late bloomer has begun to bloom i hoped he could be here to see the result. I feel like i have just not been a big success like he deserved after raising me...why did i act so dumb as a kid i just kept letting him down. I can't let him go now because i want him to see the support was worth it. why? i just can't process this end...doesn't matter i knew it would come.