Abstinence & Celibacy Support Group

Hello,

I am 22 years old and have masturbated heavily since I was twelve, up to 5 times per day, almost everyday. I have tried to quit on numerous occasions because I felt it violated my religious beliefs. I ended up in failure each time. I would say that the longest time I've went was about two to three weeks.

I normally have really strong self control and discipline. For example, I can go on diets and lose a lot of weight without any problems. I can resist my cravings and drink Slimfast everyday until I get my desired weight. However, I have had so much trouble quitting masturbation. It feels almost as though I am addicted to it. But then again, it's not really an addiction since everyone else does it. Most people claim that I'm just a healthy young adult doing something very natural.

However, my religion says that masturbation is sin and therefore I must quit. I am strongly religious. I believe that life is a gauntlet one must overcome in order to prepare for the afterlife. In order to adhere to my religious beliefs, I MUST quit.

Unfortunately this is extremely difficult. I'm sure it used to be much easier during the past, but in the modern times we have the Internet, television, magazines, etc that enable us to access porn and other arousing material. In addition, as a MALE American (especially in my age group), we're exposed to a lot of pressure involving intercourse and other lewd behavior. Due to these reasons, it has been really difficult to quit during the past.

However, I still have not given up. I want to do whatever I can to quit masturbation completely. I have abstained for about a week and a half and it gets so much harder day by day. I wake up every morning with some sexual fantasy and find myself indulging in it, not wanting to wake up (I always get up before I climax).

If you have had success fighting the urge, please tell me how you did it! Any advice and tips will be helpful. I have searched for lot of advice on the Internet from various religious sites, but I definitely could use more help!

Thanks in advance.

I feel your pain man. I feel that urge every day. It is almost impossible for me to completely quit from masturbation. I try my hardest, but it always overcomes me. Let alone, it disobeys my religion, it makes me hard to live with. To think I have actually lowered myself to these actions. Actions that rapists, murderers, and molesters commit. I am not in their ballpark, but when I do this type of stuff, I sure do feel like I am.

My best advice is to fight it, and keep on fighting. You have done this so long now that it is practically programed in your head to do it everyday. If you fight this thing off mentally, you will be a better man, man with a high level of self-control. It wont come back, only if you allow it. Right now you are just its little lab rat, and it will remain like this until you do something about it.

When people say it is healthy, and perfectly normal to do, they are idiots. They only say this because they have succomed to the temptations. They have given in, and they let train wreck begin.

What I have learned, as preventative measure, is to block any attack on you. Like websites that sexually encite you. I installed a software the blocks these websites completely. So whenever I try to go onto these site, it wont let me.

And a little tip if you do decide to go use this measure, for the password, make up a long jumbled text, that there is noway you can remember. So now pornography temptations on the websites are gone.

I hope I was of any help to you, and post back if this has helped any at all.

Post edited by: bfar4526, at: 01/14/2010 09:53 AM

Hi, Bfar and stratify.

I apologize for not responding sooner, but I had surgery on Thursday and was unable to access this site until now.

I am the group leader in this forum, and want to say we appreciate your being here. I am also a chaplain, and want to dispell a few of what I consider myths in the Christian religion.

First, masturbation in and of itself is not a sin. God gave us sexuality as well as strict guidelines to follow with it. I have not seen this as one of the guidelines. Now having said that, if you are imaging a person while you are satisfying yourself then you could be crossing a line of adultry, but that is something you and God have to deal with. The way I see it, God made our arms and hands where He did so we CAN be obedient by remaining celibate until we are in a "right relationship", yet still enjoying that part of us He created.

Just food for thought. For those of you who cringe at the word "God" realize these said their religion (though not identified) prohibited it so I am giving some additional thoughts, not conversion to my beliefs.

Welcome to the group and post any time.

ministermom

did god give us guidelines or was it in some mans interpretation of the rules like our great usa. i would say grew like a bean and we became human, when given the choice to decide is what got us into so much trouble. one choice into another compounded it. now we live a cycle of generations passed down to another.

I'd like to echo two things on this post. Please check out Sax Alcoholics Anonymous either here, online or in your local area. They are the Sexual Addiction group that actually says no masturbation for sobriety.

Also the religions problem with masturbation is about not getting your wife pregnant(and procreating). if thats not a problem for you, then you should not feel guilty.

Excellent point!

What denomination are you? I'm Baptist and to me, it's normal. We're the same age. What I would feel bad about is having sex with a guy then us breaking up, because I'd feel like I wasted my virginity.

After reading your post, I get the impression you are creating stress and uses masturbation as a stress reliever. Religious guilt, the unrealistic goal of never masturbating is very stressful and can cause excessive masturbation.

Masturbation is a not sin. No organized religion will ever chastise you for masturbating. You have used your imagination to create a negative belief system that is causing you harm.

You have to decide for yourself what you want out of masturbation, what you like.

Masturbating 5 times a day doesn't feel that great. You lose a lot of energy from your ejaculations. It's also a big waste of time. Porn loses it's appeal and it's harder to get off.

When it comes to masturbation less is more. It feels better when you wait. Just because you can all the time masturbate doesn't mean you have too.

If you become too dependent on masturbating, if will cause sexual problems.

Make it your goal to have the best masturbation session you can have by waiting.

Most men masturbate 2-3 times a week.

Guilt from masturbation

Being reared Catholic with my father on my back about masturbating I say there’s no way to stop it. I gave facts concerning masturbation in my post “Masturbation Information.” With 94 percent of boys doing it and around 70 percent of girls doing it, you think you will completely stop, good luck.

Find out why you feel guilty doing it. Whoever or whatever is making you feel guilty will not relieve that guilt, no, they or it will just add to it. Research the facts by speaking with a physician and looking on the Internet, I’ve done both. Yes, on the Internet there are those who say you can stop, their magic program. Tip: we’re sexual beings, it’s part of our nature.

I’m of the opinion that masturbation is natural. Like everything it can be over used. Of course one book on it that I read disagreed saying after so much the human body just quits, needing to rest.

After learning more about it, and not being afraid of it like God would destroy us after I did it, I found masturbation useful in my life. It relaxed me. The sex drive caused me want to do things, achieve. This is why I limited it to once a day for most of my life when ejaculating regularly. I used it to help myself especially in college. I probably could have done it more but five times a day I say is too often for anyone.

As one grows older you ejaculate less but you still can have the pleasure. One note, for those having prostrate trouble masturbation is medically advised. As with anything else self-control is required. Once you control yourself, set reasonable limits that you can live with, your guilt will subside, maybe not completely go away, then you can be proud of yourself.