4S - Selective Soft Sound Syndrome
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So my parents are really unsympathetic people. I started to notice how disgusting their eating sounded when I was around 12, 13. I'm 16 now. I tried to ask them gently to be more quiet but they got seriously offended, so I dropped it and have tried to endure it since. Fortunately, our family system's kind of weird and we very very rarely have dinner at the table. Mostly we eat whenever we want, wherever we want. So I can mostly hide out in my room when they're eating. This misophonia thing has gotten so bad even looking at them eat drives me crazy. Well, here's the thing. When I found out that I'm not just insane (like my mom's been telling me, very seriously) I've been wondering how I can tell her that I have a real illness and she can't keep grabbing my arm to keep me from walking away whenever she puts something in her mouth (she thinks that by making me want to kill her in her sleep she's helping me). But when I said it's an illness called misophonia, she was all, "Get over it. It's all in your head." And that pissed me off almost as much as her eating. Any help? Please? None of the websites say how to deal with relatives who just don't understand non-physical illness. I swear, I could start cutting myself and drawing pictures on the wall with my own blood and my mom would tell me to get over it. (Not that I'm so inclined, though)

So...suggestions please?

Post edited by: TQOM, at: 07/07/2011 05:45 AM

Show her some of the information online on the subject, like these forums. misophonia.uk is a good one, and there's a number of articles out there too. Maybe having her see that it's not only you will help her change her mind.

Thanks for the advice, but I've tried, and she insists that I just see the symptoms of an illness and I "want" to have it. I think she means Googlitis? And she says that absolutely nothing on the internet is reliable so this might not even be a real illness. Also she says that I can't diagnose myself and she refuses to take me to a specialist, because (typical Asian stigma) going to a therapist means I'm batshit crazy.

Maybe I'm out of line, but your 16. Don't take your mom grabbing your arm so you can't walk away when she's eating. Stay with a friend for a while until your parents realize they need to be sensitive to your condition if they want to be in your life. If they can't accept that they need to be sensitive to your condition then you need to get away from them. This isn't something that's going to go away - and from my personal experience it only gets worse.

I just found out about this today, my mom say it on the news and showed me and my dad. We have a horrible relationship because of my misophonia, when he saw the thing on TV he finally admitted to me that he always assumed that I had some mild case of autism because I'm always covering my ears (I'm 20 and he just now decides to tell me he thinks I'm Autistic...never thought of taking me to a doctor or anything).

Maybe you can email her a link because it was featured on the today show today and I'm sure they have a video on their site about it. Just don't mention what it is ahead of time, just tell her you thought she should see it.

I know EXACTLY how you feel! With my family, it got to the point I had to suck it up, keep my anger inside and just pray till dinner was over. I don't even think my parents even realize how angry I am. If I ask politely or them to stop chewing, they give me the cold shoulder for days!

I would recommend printing out pages from websites about misophonia and showing them to parents. Or get a friend to call or email them saying, "I've noticed (your name) gets really angry at chewing noises, and I read about an illness called misophonia, and I think she has it." this worked for my friend's depression.

Do not make the mistake of cutting yourself. I did, and the rage was so strong that I accidentally cut WAY too far and gave myself a serious injury. And an icy cold shoulder from my mom.

Feel free to PM me if you need to talk or vent. I'll be here!

I can sympathize with you so much! I'm also 16 and I've just discovered that there's an actual thing other than me busting wanting to violently fling things at people, mostly my relatives, and be consumed in a horrible rage. My parents also dont consider it a valid excuse and they say it's a rediculous quirk that I've fostered and need to get over. I've tried but I can't. I just can't! I wish they would listen. My mother has looked up misophonia after my outbursts but she doesn't really consider it a valid excuse I guess.