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Written by Irishangel88
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17 October 2010 |
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This is an article about a relationship that i had that was very much like a merry go round, and how I eventually put an end to the ride. I think it's helpful to anybody thinking about putting an end to their merry go round relationships.
Some people think love does not exist in the world, or worse, some people think it's as easy to find love as it is to wash your hair. If you believe either of those extremes, let me tell you, you believe a fallacy. In truth, love is difficult to find, and takes real work to hang onto. To prove this point, let me take you back in time.
The year is 2002, and a confused and troubled thirteen year old stumbles across a helping teens website. There, she finds a purpose in helping people go through the pain she felt, and still feels. There she met the people that would be a huge part of her life for years to come. There she met HIM. He was annoying, arrogant, but understanding and calm at the same time. He was charismatic, and soon got past her defences.
She fell for him hard, but did everything in her power to push him away because she was afraid of getting hurt. Yet somehow, they grew together, on the phone and online as well. They knew each other better than they knew themselves at times, but the fact still remained that they had been badly damaged by their pasts. She did everything in her power to push him away, and whenever she got too close to him, he ran for months.
This cycle continued for close to seven years, until she had a breakthrough, and realized she pushed him away all those years because she had in fact loved him since she was thirteen. Ecstatic, she tried to get in contact with him, but her attempts at communication fell on deaf ears. He finally e-mailed her, but instead of an answer to her pouring her heart out, it was an e-mail he sent a lot of people showing them a cockpit of a shuttle. Broken hearted and angry, she went up to her room to cry, and instead ended up punching a hole through her hard wood bedroom wall.
With her sprained hand hurting the next day, she came to a realization. She realized that anyone who would ignore her didn't deserve her. So with this new attitude, she severed any means of communication he could have with her in the future, and vowed to move on with her life.
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