Yorkie Love's Diary

Here is a partial list of tests that pdocs should be ordering for us: 

Liver function tests - LFT

Lipid Panel - Cholesterol

hgbA1c - tocheck blood sugars over the last three months (an average for diabetics)

Microalbumin Uria - checks Kidney function

CBC - complete blood count

CMP - comprehensive metabolic panel (this is to check your chemistries)

Thyroi...

Don't Let Me Get Me

Never win first place, I don't...

Some things have been happening that have me revisiting the past, which is never a good thing for me.  I am not quite sure how to handle it.  These things bring back feelings of insecurity andshame.  I thought that I was past this and other hurts, but I guess I am not.  Now I just need to know how to handle this, because I can't let anyone down....

Well, after three days of my son having the stomach flu, it's my turn.  It's beautiful outside and the last thing I'd like to do is sit in my bed all day.

 I'm miserablethough.  I was up all night arfing.  I finally got to sleep about 4 AM, then was up by 7 AM.  All I do is just lay here and feel miserable.  Partly because I threw up all my me...

Thank you so much everyone for offering your support during these trying times.  I've leaned on you all so much.  I really appreciate all of your help.  It has helped me so much....

I applied for this federal job that I was perfect for.  I've been chasing it since October 2009.  Ends up a mistake was made and I didn't get credit for being a veteran, so they gavethe two open positions to the only other two vets.

I called the HR dept. before the jobs were awarded and told them I was a veteran.  I had my DD-214 attached to the application and it s...

My mortgages are two months past due, going on three actually, credit cards are declined, and no paycheck forthcoming.  In addition, my business  can't pay it's operating expenses and might be getting sued, twice.  We have insurance for that, of course, but can we handle any further stress?

The list goes on.....it was my 10th wedding anniversary and I barely saw my...

My son started getting in trouble in the third grade. Cutting up in class, jumping up on tables, sneaking out of school. In the fifth grade he bought a knife at school and was suspended for 5 days.

He started skipping a lot in the seventh grade, refused to take his ADHD med and began failing classes. In 8th or 9th grade he started doing a lot of drugs. Taking way too many motion sickness...

Many of you have heard the story of my financial hardship, but here is a synopsis, for those of you that haven't.

 My husband and I own our own business which has been pretty successfulfor the past 8 years.  However, when the recession hit, our business nosedived and right now is down 61% from last year.  We were unable to pay all of our 2008 personal taxes and none of...

I am bored, bored, bored tonight.  I am also getting tired.  I felt mentally wide awake until about five minutes ago.  All of the sudden, I'm tired.  Go figure.

So, I guess I made my little one's teacher mad.  A child asked her how much she made and she said, "Not enough".  It made me sort of angry, because teachers are paid OK for the amoun...

Today I've felt good, but I worked from home, so have been on the computer for hours.  Then I came here of course and have been on it even longer.  The weather is so beautiful that I want to go walking, but I just feel too lazy.

I don't know why I am like this now.  I used to be so motivated and energetic.  I worked out 5 days a week and was always doing someth...

I hate to bring everyone down, so I am writing this in my diary.  I feel totally unlikeable right now.  I posted a discussion and no one responded.  Then I wonder if I've performedsome faux pau, which has made everyone hate me.

My reasoning mind says that it is probably just a coincidence or that the subject was too controversial.  Part of it was that it was such a...

Today I wondered, "Is this all real?".  Meaning, am I really bipolar and what does that mean?  Will I ever be able to function normally again?  When will that be?  CanI handle life's stresses?  I don't know the answers to any of these questions.

I guess that my illness has progressed fairly far.  The pdoc said that I was difficult to stabili...

Whenever I do something or think something unkind, it comes back to haunt me.  God always seem to pay me back.

 For instance, when I was in my twenties I worked with this little, pompous, coarse architect.  During a conversation, he mentioen that he was allergic to beef.  I distinctly remember thinking, "Oh brother, what a wimp."  A couple of years later...

I think that people forget to honor their blessings.  So I want to make a gratitude journal.  I will start, I am grateful for:    sunshine, moonshine (your eyes drink this in), magnetic fields surrounding the earth, All of Creation, grass, trees, flowering plants, food, clean water,rain,snow,beautiful earth, electricity, wildlife, insects, breezes, all of the animals,...

I think that Halo 3 is awesome and I really enjoy the effects.  The little grunts running when I shoot them with assault rifle.

Mostly I love my Mom.

  We're getting a newYorkie puppy this Friday.  She will be tiny and has been known to howl.  She will be about ten weeks old.  She should only weigh between 4 to 5 lbs full ground.

I hope that Daddy...

I was molested as small child by stepfather, who continued to make overatures until I moved out.  Then I was raped at 13 by a 23 yr old neighboor.

I experienced my first blown suicidal depressionat age 17  (May 1986).  I believe that I might have been hypomanic earlier that year.

 Then I became somewhat depressed again in January 1987 and quit college.  I la...

I am no longer defined by my trauma.  I am a survivor of incest, rape and physical abuse.  My childhood was a bad dream most of the time and sometimes a nightmare.

 When I was in my mid twenties and already a mother, an elderly man from my church and I became friends.  We would take walks (I would push him up the hills, LOL) and go out to eat and go to church.  We...

http://www.everydayhealth.com/bipolar/webcasts/how-to-manage-manic-episodes-of-bipolar-disorder-transcript-1.aspx...

I feel like I have something important to say, but I can't remember what it was.  How annoying!!!

I think that I want to talk about mental illness and the stigma attached to it. ; I believe that if people were exposed to people with mental illness, there would not be such a stigma attached to it.  They only hear about people like that mom in Texas who was suposedly bipo...

I feel anxious this afternoon.  I haven't felt anxious in awhile.  I seem to have been having some problems with mania and anxiety this past week.  I hate to be so me centered. ; I just feel wound up and jittery.  Not in a good way though.  I prefer to feel calm.

The birds are singing, nightfall is here.  I love the birds singing.  Spring is her...

MD Junction is such a wonderful place.  I was so alone before, now I have people who at least pretend to care (LOL).  Seriously, you guys have been great!  It is such a relief to havepeople that I can share my most intimate thoughts and greatest fears with.

I only hope that all of you can tolerate my candor and sometimes over enthusiasm.  If I'm dominating the conv...

My abilities, skills and memory are not what they once were.  I used to be so much MORE than I  am now.  I have read that bipolar and other mental illnesses cause brain damage.  I believe it bc I am much slower to learn and can't remember anything anymore.  It is not due to meds, bc I was like this before I took meds....

I have discovered this week that I am an intellectual snob.  My teenage son spent 22 days in jail for a probation violation.  While in jail, he asked that I write his cell mate too.  I did and when his cell mate, named Corey, wrote back, his letter was uproarius.  He could not spell, his sentences were fragmented and half of the time I could not tell what he was trying to sa...

So yesterday I was manic and on a roll speaking about perspective.  Then for whatever reason the program didn't save what I wrote.  Hence the, "You suck" entry.

I believethat perspective influences everything.  Truth depends on your perspective.  One person's truth is another person's lie.  Obviously, there are some truths that are c...

I wrote an entire days worth of insightful thoughts about life and this stupid program didn't save them!!!!  Aughhh!!!!!...