I have so many thoughts about my conditions that I don't know where to start or how to organize them (ADD coming out, lol) 

My entire life I have struggled with severe depression.  I had thoughts and problems that no child should ever experience and yet I never let it show to anyone.  The older I got, the better I got as keep that "mask" on so no one knew how miserable I was inside.  I hated myself and I still do.  I'm glad that I finally know why I am the way I am, but am angry at myself b/c I still can't do all the things a mother and wife, person really should be able to do.  I have lost my ability to put the "mask" on for the most part and especially with my family, I struggle to stay normal and involved in their lives the way I should be.

I pray each night that God will help me be a better mother and wife the next day and that someday, maybe someday, I'll find out who Cathy is.