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May 17
2008
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Life is kind of crazy right now. I was sick with a cold for almost two months. I finally got in to see a different nursepractitioner at the poor folks' clinic. This one takes fibromyalgia seriously, but she's got me on two new medications, Lexapro and Lyrica. I'm sleeping more, but I have nasty afternoon slumps, my vision goes back and forth between blurry and crystal clear, I still hurt, and if I don't set my alarm, I sleep until noon. And she wants me to exercise in warm water, even if it means working out in the shower. But at least she doesn't treat me like some crazy drug addict.
Mom had two doctors' appointments last week and came out of the last one with six new doctors' appointments. She jokes that she has her life planned out until September.
My therapist of six years changed jobs. She gave me two weeks notice, and recommended two people, neither of whom works at her clinic, one of whom works in another town. She did not help me get an appointment with either of these people. So I'm scrambling, trying to get in to see another therapist on my own, through the panic attacks. So far I've had no luck. It's really hard to find a new therapist without the help of a therapist! Oh, well.
The car needs an oil change, desperately. I also need to get some bodywork done. I had been working through the process of getting through my fears and getting this done, but without my therapist, the car has been put on the back burner.
And although my dog is feeling better without the bladder stones, her behavior is getting worse. She bit my thumb this morning when I was grooming her. She's getting awful about mealtimes, grooming, and other dogs. I'm sick of bloody fingers. And worrying that she'll escape and go after another dog. I'm looking for a muzzle.
And of course, I'm still packing up and moving all our stuff from the old house. The never-ending move really does need to end soon, or I'm going to go insane. At least I was able to cut way back on my work hours this summer so that I can spend more time packing up the old house.
So anyway, my life is pretty chaotic. I haven't been feeling up to writing lately. But I hope I'll be feeling better soon.
written by lostgurl, May 27, 2008
nice that your mom can keep a sense of humor.
i had a therapist do that to me. for me it caused not only feelings of fear on what to do next, but also betrayal.
how old is your dog? you may need to take drastic measures like i had to with my dog. he/she needs behavioral training before you give up completely. fear or no, you have to make the dog realize YOU are in charge, not him/her. this can be difficult and painful. you may get bit a few times but eventually he will learn. he needs to know even if you are afraid of him you are still the pack leader, bigger, stronger. with my dog this involved grabbing him by the loose skin on the back of his neck in a way he couldn't wriggle enough to bite me, and hold him down staring straight into his eyes repeating no in a growl when he growled or tried to catch a nip at me. no this is not abuse. it doesn't hurt them at all. has your dog ever had socialization training for being around other people or animals? that is a little more difficult and may require a professional. first things first you need to force him/her to understand and obey you. lead training, if your dog hasn't already had it, would also enforce the idea you are in charge.
wow with everything else on your plate, you are moving too? that is rough. you need to take some "me time" and try to relax. if it appears you don't have time to do that, make time before you end up collapsing.
pm me if you would like to chat sometime
hugs and comfort, jenna