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Sylvia4648"I have suffered from depression most of my life, but had some long, non-depressed times. The last 16 years have been an on-going, constantly worsening nightmare for me medically, socially and with my family. 11/2008 to the present has been the worst time in my life, and new things just keep piling up. During that time I've gone from being mostly homebound to being totally homebound due to the errors of about 2 dozen doctors who overmedicated me so badly that I came home w/ 4 conditions I didn't go in with. I spent months wanting to die, and finding MDJ may well have saved my life. It's one of the worst feelings to know that nobody on earth needs you for anything; but now that I've been a group leader for awhile, there are people here who need me. Thanks MDJ." (Sylvia4648)

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Arod54 My diary will be about my journey with my husband down the road of Stage C cirrhosis. My husband has cirrhosis after 30 years of drinking probably evereyday. We have been married for 21 years and I know he probably drank at least 3 beers if not more everyday. Now he has stopped drinking but it is too late the damage is done and even though sometimes he has good days we deal with this illness everyday. He complains all the time about all his symptoms and there is nothing I can do to help him. I get so fustrated sometimes I could scream but that wouldn't do any good I still hav to deal with it. I am hoping that by putting it to the keyboard I will feel better. ...Read More
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Some things never change

Jun 05 2009
Dear diary today was a day like all the rest that have happened to me for the last year and a half. My husband doesn't want to do anything anymore I am not sure if he just doesn't want too or he can't. I am so bored with my life I need to go back to work but if I do then when he is really sick what do I do. My unemployment will be running out soon and I will need to go back to work. He complains that I am always snapping at him but I can't help it sometimes I get so dam mad at him for putting me through this he did this to himself. If he had quit drinking when the doctor told him too he wouldn't be sick and we'd be enjoying our life together. Instead I watch him sleep on the sofa night after night. Now he even want's to know why I am always on my laptop. I feel like screaming at him because I'd go nuts if I didn't have a laptop to communicate my feelings because I sure as hell can't tell him anything because then I would be a bitch and not the good wife that I need to be. I love him and I want him to get better but I know he wouldn't there is no turning back rom this illness it does not go away it only gets worse with time. God help me get through this.

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