What now? Now my life is different.

Dear diary today was a day like all the rest that have happened to me for the last year and a half. My husband doesn't want to do anything anymore I am not sure if he just doesn't want too or he can't. I am so bored with my life I need to go back to work but if I do then when he is really sick what do I do. My unemployment will be running out soon and I will need to go back to work. He complains that I am always snapping at him but I can't help it sometimes I get so dam mad at him for putting me through this he did this to himself. If he had quit drinking when the doctor told him too he wouldn't be sick and we'd be enjoying our life together. Instead I watch him sleep on the sofa night after night. Now he even want's to know why I am always on my laptop. I feel like screaming at him because I'd go nuts if I didn't have a laptop to communicate my feelings because I sure as hell can't tell him anything because then I would be a bitch and not the good wife that I need to be. I love him and I want him to get better but I know he wouldn't there is no turning back rom this illness it does not go away it only gets worse with time. God help me get through this.