Diary Entries for rockwell40

Depression is not a healthy thing.

rockwell40

It's late it's about 12:15am and I am on my way to bed, but wanted to write in my diary. I woke up at 7:30 am with this headache but I realized in about 20 minutes it wasn't a headache but rather a migraine only to get worse and worse thru out the day. So I was on a blackout till 4:00 pm. Waste of a day. It was so bad 2day that I was sicker (nausea) then a dog.

I did have a nice conversation with a friend that I haven't spoken to in a couple of weeks. Very, V [...]

Looks Promising today

rockwell40

Woke up today and shocked me awake, I jumped out of bed to go to the door and OMG I literally feel (I was in that 7 second call). I'm ok. But I didn't realize I really can'tjust jump up and get out of bed like that. I usually start trying to get up about 1 to 1 1/2 hour before actually getting up. On an average it takes that long. Like I said I didn't hurt myself but it gave me a wake up call.

So after my morning incident I got up and showered and [...]

My

rockwell40

It's been several weeks since I have written but this "thing" keeps on attacking. I am in no mood or have any motivation to do anything.

Last I left I was told I needed some further{read previous entry}cardiac testing. Apparently the chest X-ray done prior to my hospitalization earlier last month not only showed fluid in lungs (pneumonia) but showed enlarged heart. So PCP sent me for echocardiogram, results: heart rhythm showed frequent PVC's. Went to PCP 4 [...]

Getting use to this "NEW" normal SUCKS.

rockwell40

You know I wonder how much more if any I can take, I am not a religious person really but 1 Corthians 10:13 states "God wouldn't give you more than you can handle and if so will give you away to stand up under it" I'm done, I'm done, I'm done. Overall, I have been healthy until the last 8- 10 months. I am trying to get SSID but illness keep coming. First: terrible skin lesions (2 1/2 yrs), then Fibromyalgia (last 8-10 months), then the beginni [...]

Sick and tired of not getting a break

rockwell40

I haven't been on at all for almost 2 weeks, I was in the hospital. I don't know what's happening, I have all these fibro symptoms then WHAM I'm hit with a severe asthma attack to landme in the hospital. During that time my fibro symptoms were set aside becuz of the asthma and it's effect it had on me. Has anyone every had asthma problems with the fibro. I developed mild asthma about 15 yrs ago. I've had about 3 severe bouts ending in hospitalization the last being abo [...]

YUCKY

rockwell40

I have felt so yucky for so long, I'm wondering if there will ever be a time when I feel decent enough to have some sort of life. Right now, I can't do much ofanything. I hurt so much and it is so stressful to pretend to be ok in public. I am so hurting that I have recently be vomiting and have not eaten very much. Losing weight but not the correct way. I don't have much to say tonite so will end now and bid you all good nite. Of all the thing [...]

Any Help Anybody :(

rockwell40

OK all, this is me venting, I hope y'all will bear with me. I going torecap last week. Mind you my mother flew out especially for this to help interpret becuz of my foggy brain and she was an Hospital Administrator for 20 years.

Tuesday: G.I. Dr: I need colonscopy due to age. He doesn't find any problem with enlarged liver past on to dermologist on Wednesday Doctor said she can treat the rash but nothing else. Gave me cream and increase prednisone, f/u in 3 weeks pass on to [...]

I am so exhausted, I just want answers!!!!!!

rockwell40

I have gone to the Doctors every day this week. G.I., Dermatologist, Hematologist and Sleep Disorder Center 2morrow, and next Wednesday the PCP. I am so frustrated right now I could justkill (figurtivily) someone. Each Dr is passing the buck "well let's see what the other doctors say" or Well I see that the PCP said it was such and such and each dr will concer until told otherwise. Hematologist ruled out cancer, polymyalgiarheumatica, Porphyria [...]

Having a hard time

rockwell40

I am a very private person at least when it comes to my space (my bubble). I don't have to much company because I want my home to be my home and my domain, so I'll go to others alot morethan they come here. I don't have people stay overnite except for my best friends (couple), they stay anywhere from one week to 3 weeks. I put up with it becuz I'm glad they are here to see me and I love them dearly but I really like my home to be my domain. Well now my mother [...]

Long week visiting all kinds of Doctors/test

rockwell40

It's been about a week since I have written in my diary. I had a CT scan done of my abdomen and lower rt quarant and went to a hemotologist. So the CT scan shows that my liver is enlargedand a mild spot on liver but the dr said he would watch it that it doesn't seem like anything to worry about. Hemotologist states that I might have a rare blood disorder called porphyria or it could be polycytheria rubra vera or essential thromboyture. He is ordering more exten [...]

Stiff, Stiff, Stiff, migraine, migraine, migraine, itch, itch, itch

rockwell40

These are just a few of the things I'm feeling 2day. So, I was able to schedule CT scan for Wednesday the 2nd of March. Trying to get into seeing GI, called all 4 of them and booked out til "JUNE". Well I'm gonna do the CT scan and see what Hemo has to said on Friday and then discuss with PCP. And if she feels urgent to see GI will travel into Portland for additional care. (that will be tough on me). So my mother is scheduled to be here from 3-11-11 to 3-23-11, I truly hope she [...]

But what if.....

rockwell40

I am having a pretty good day, besides my norm of foggy mind and stiffness @ a scale of 7 physically I'm doing good, now my mind is moving a mile a minute today. I guess the question is what if this isn't Lupus and it could be worst? Well I guess no matter what I need to find out what's going on in my body, right? But I am not in denial either.

A day to reflect what happening yesterday

rockwell40

At least I was heard and I feel that some progression is being made. Everything has a roadblock. CT called to schedule appt, when they found out I didn't have insurance they said it wouldcost $807.00, she said that they need at least 20% (95.00) after about an hr of trying to get this done without monies. I called my mother and she is going to reimburse me the $95.00 when and this comes to 2) my mother comes out. I called her 2day and I point blank told her how I'm feeling [...]

Doctor Day

rockwell40

So I went to see another Dr today (PCP) only one who would see me. It was a 30 minute appt that lasted just over 3 hours. Tried to explain what was happening, she kind of narrow into a few things and was going to leave and I stood up and said NO YOU MUST LISTEN TO ME. She sat back down. I spoke up completely (10 mins max). So, at this point she wanted to do a complete physical RIGHT NOW (her words). So after all that was said and done. This much I know (no dx) blood in stool. The [...]

Shoot me NOW PLEASE!!!!!

rockwell40

So I went to my work comp doctor today. She said that I am medically stationary at the moment, she knew I was upset and asked me to explain. Went thru all the ordeal of what has been happening and how I’m feeling. She did ROM on left ankle and told me that she feels that I will need continuing care throughout the years. She also was able to tell me her perso [...]

Slow day

rockwell40

Woke up at a decent hour but had a really hard time going, truth be told, I couldn't even muster up enuf energy to get dressed. My poor dog is out of dog food. 2morrow I go to a workers compensationdoctor(in addition to everything else I have a open w/c case). I am trying to work on collecting information for Social Security. Trying to remember who I saw for what and when (Medical Records).

How are the rest of you doing? I hope you all are doing good. I [...]

Feel really pretty good

rockwell40

I have been up since before 8:00am and it's just 9:00 am now, I am feeling good (this is weird), haven't felt like this moment in almost 2 years. What's up with that? Don't misunderstandI'm NOT complaining, just weird.

Had a good day. Saw daughter and grandkids for a while, did a little grocery shopping, felt good enough to walk a couple of blocks. Overall the day was a 5 out of 10. Not complaining since the last 6-8 months it's bee 1/2 to 1. &n [...]

So far, so good, so gonnnnnnnnnnne

rockwell40

Hello, I have been awake since 8:30am, slept ok. Actually, feeling optimistic. I have begun scratching again like I was before the meds. Called Dr's office. HYDROXYZ not working, the predizoneis just making me a bitch and crazy. But I putting one foot in front of the other. My headache is there lingering, but I took some zoloft (taken daily for last 3 years) and 2 500 mg of Tylenol to keep it dull. I am going to pick my granddaughter up from school today and keep h [...]

Not a good day

rockwell40

I am so down, all this itchiness and sores all over, yuk. I have this migraine headache that feels like I'm stuck. My neck had this major pain and I literally couldn't move for about 3 minutes. The one thing that happened 2day and hasn't happened in years is I was able to pop my neck. It felt so good. But the thing is why now? I've been trying to unloosen that for every.

It just seems like so many symptoms I've had off and on over [...]

I'm feel like I have run a 10K. WHEWWWWWWWWW

rockwell40

Well it's another day it is 11:39 am been up since 8:30. It's taken over 3 hours to get moving. Showers and getting dressed whew didn't think I would every get done. Withstiffiness, the severe itch from the inside out (I look like I have leprosy), the fog that I seem to be living in lately. My concentration level is deteriorated so badly. Not quite sure most likely meds (Presidone and Hydroxyz) induced. I don't want the pain meds becuz I am fogged [...]