I am so very annoyed, and I don't know if my reaction is my bipolar or just any normal human reaction to the situation.  I think that is one of the most perplexing parts of being bipolar.  I get pretty heated and cruel when that happens.  I am more psychologically cruel, and will mind-f*&% people.  That is obviously not good to do when you are trying to solve a problem.  When I feel like I am not being heard or when I feel pushed into a corner that is how I react.  I feel like I could do things more productively, but that my anger keeps me from being nice enough to get my point across without pissing people off or making things worse.  This comes up bc I am awaiting a large sum of money, and the lawyers and trustee for my bankruptcy are going nowhere with eachother, but yet they have already agreed everything is okay with my exemptions, etc...  So it has been a month since I signed my paperwork, and the trustee received everything when I did.  I talked to my bankruptcy atty and he said he would call my trustee to try to help out, but I don't understand why my lawyers handling this other thing aren't doing more to find out where the papers are from my trustee.  My bankruptcy lawyer is just offering to help me out, it isn't his job to do this.  My other lawyers are going to get a lot more money for their work than my bankruptcy lawyer, so I just don't get it.  So I kept calling my other lawyers and they kept telling me they hadn't heard anything yet.  I called today, and the receptionist was like please hold, like they do when the person is in.  Then the receptionist came back on the line and said, oh she must have stepped away from her desk, would you like her voice mail?  That pissed me off, bc I know she doesn't want to talk to me to tell me they still haven't heard anything.  Except this time I actually have something she needs to know, which is to find out what is going on bc my bankruptcy lawyer will call to get it handled if they can't.  I hate to be a jerk to people, but it's like sometimes they forget who they work for.  A month is how long it has been since I got this paperwork to sign, and I just can't understand why is would take a month, or longer to get this paperwork back to my lawyers.  I am just trying to work my way through this problem to try to figure out what is going on here. 

...and this is how I internalize things.