Diary Entries for messynessy

Jannie Jammer Gat

messynessy

In Englisht the only way I can translate my title into would be...Sally Sorry Ass....because that is how I feel like today. Very sorry for myself! I see pictures and post of friends and people thatI know living normal healthy lives with spouses and kids and I realize that the chances of that being me one day is slim. No one wants to be stuck with someone that is always on alert for crisis or that has to depend on medication to survive. The fact that I am constantly tiered and in dull muscle p [...]

One of those days.

messynessy

I cant seem to sleep, even though I am exhausted my brain keeps working till the early hours of the morning...leaving so sleepy by the time I need to get up for work. The pred helps me to get goingbut I am still sleepy and my arms and legs and muscles in general just hurt!

So its one of those days where I wish I was in bed sleeping instead of being at work. My limbs hurt and I want to sleep, but strangly enough I am in a good mood and have great ideas for Halloween and I want to start [...]

Ag no man!

messynessy

So, back at work today after all the test are done, and I am looking very puffy and swollen. This is not doing anything for my self image at all, as the Koreans are so blunt they just come out and say, "Oh, you are very fat today, you dont look pretty" this truly sucks as explaining to them is pointless why I look like I look! Oh well at least its only for month as my pred dosage is super high, in a months time it will be better, nothing lasts for ever hey. Arms and wrists hurt I hope [...]

Geting going.

messynessy

Well I am back at work today! Thank goodness I dont have to teach till Monday and I only have to be here to desk warm for one day then its weekend. I am nervious though to tell my school that I willbe taking 3 sick days next week for more tests in another city and I am praying that this does not affect their choice to resign me next year!

I still feel pretty bad, dizzy and tiered and nauseas is not cool when you are trying to be normal! arg!

Oh well next week this time hopefully [...]

Back

messynessy

So I am back from a 5 day vacation and instead of feeling relaxed and fresh I feel like pooh instead!

The pred only worked well for 3 days. Even being on such a high dosage didnt help much fromthere on. All the symptoms are back and I feel even worse.

I look at people I went to school with, their photos their life and I cant help but think how it must feel to be normal, not to feel like death and how it must be like to go out and do anything you want without killing over wh [...]

The Korean Doc!

messynessy

So off I went to the closet big city of Andong thankfully only 35 min on buss and i was there. This was my first Korean endocrinologist and was super nervy. Thank goodness she spoke English and jumpedinto action asap. Listen to my symptoms and said this is not good and put me on prednisone 15mg mornings and 15mg at night. She did explain that this is very high and that it is only temp, until i return for my blood results on Tuesday 23th Aug. Even though the rest of the staff did not understan [...]

When you think you are in control but you actualy not.

messynessy

So with two weeks now leading into three weeks of feeling like death warmed up, I fininally got some answers from someone that explained it to me in a way that makes sence. All this time I thought I knew what I was doing and I thought what I was doing was not just correct but good for me. My doctors did not inform me well enough and all these years I have been taking wrong dosages at wrong times and not getting the right meds. Mood swings, body aches, hospitalization just to be pumped fu [...]

Not so happy.

messynessy

I wish this headache would go away! No one can tell why I have it!

I have this nagging feeling that I have been miss diagnosed, I do not have the darkening of the skin, loss of appitite or weightloss. I do feel dizzy, nauseas, tiered and muscle pain a lot, when I am on cortizone I get bloated and retain a lot of water. I can go with out cortizone for max 3 months then the dizzness, tieredness, nausea and muscle pain starts and I start taking cortizone again. I wish there was someo [...]

WHY!?!?!

messynessy

Today is one of those days that I am sure we have all had, when I wish I could just be at home flat on my back! But alas life is not what we always want it to be. I am at work, desk warming, a popularpass time for Korea teachers during vacation time, no class but still have to come to work. This is all good but not when you feel like death warmed up! Bloated tummy ~ check, headache ~ check, dizziness ~ check, heavy sore limbs ~ check and let us not forget nausea!!!! The joys of Addiso [...]