So much has happened since I've been gone.  I know Julie and Jamie, and congratulations on being the Group Leaders.  I can't wait to catch up with you.  There are so manyout here that I don't know but look forward to meeting.

 I've been through a lot.  I've been having a lot of trouble with the neuromuscular disease.  The small fiber, large fiber and autonomic neuropathies have gotten a lot worse and I've developed compression neuropathy in my left arm (which means my left hand is not able to do anything).  I am typing through the use of voice recognition.  The problem is, my microphone isn't the best and I'm not using a slick program like dragon naturally speaking.  I am using the built in capabilities of Windows Vista.  So, it's still a little frustrating.  But if you think my messages sound funny it's because I'm speaking, not writing. 

I've been on the verge of getting the same problem with my left leg since I have a severe nerve pinch there too.  In fact, this was much worse than the one in my arm, so I was surprised that I developed the compression neuropathy in my arm first.  I pray that it doesn't ever develop in my left leg because then I would be in a wheelchair.

 I am seeing a leading LL M.D.  but even he does not understand many of my symptoms.  The weight loss continues, even though I get around 3000 calories a day.  My muscles have atrophied.  I've been freezing since last July.  I am not just forgetting whole days now, I'm forgetting weeks, significant events that just happened, etc.  My family understands but my girls still get a little hurt when I forget big things that they just accomplished.

 My LL M.D.  has me trying everything.  Nothing has made me feel better.  Nothing has made me herx.  I keep getting worse, fast.

I lost my appeal for continued work disability.  I did get SSD, so that's something.  But we're in trouble, so the next step is going to court.  They might choose to settle, since my lawyer just won a case against them that is almost identical to mine.  I wish the housing market were better.  I wish the economy were better.  We just don't have a lot of options.  I know many of you are in the same boat. 

It's not fair.  I had the bullseye.  I went to the Dr. with it.  He did nothing.  He has a good life.  It's hard to understand.

 It's difficult to have hope sometimes.  That is why I came back to mdjunction.  This was such a supportive community and I felt like I was doing something important.  The problem was that everything became overwhelming.  I couldn't get my diseased brain around everything that was happening to me.  I had to let many of my responsibilities slide.

I look forward to being a part of the community again.

I'm not sure that a diary is what I really want to use for this, but I'm giving it a shot.  This past week, I was on the road for awhile, and I will be gone again all next week.  I will try to check in when I can.  I've been swamped with some personal things lately, and less able to spend much time in MDJ. 

Thanks to everyone for giving your support, information and personal stories, and for welcoming newcomers.  I would like to be able to discuss a range of topics and to combine support and friendship in our group.  It's nice to know that there are others who know how we feel and I would like this to be a place where you can be yourself without having to convince anyone how sick you are.

Thanks all, and see you when I return.