Why wear a ribbon?

"My very dear, wonderful, and beautiful cousin died from ovarian cancer last year..." (marew)

MDJunction to me

"MDJ has been "a soft place to fall" for me as Dr Phil says. I have this very painful rare disease Dercum's Disease and take comfort in finding others here who share their knowledge and compassion. Many
members have helped me just by understanding my anguish and validating
my pain. We are working together to encourage research toward a cure." (grandmasylvia)

more testimonials

Untitled

Word-vomit galore!

Will things ever get better?

Jun 28 2012

I am having my doubts that things will ever improve. R recently started on lithium (2 weeks ago from today- as an add on med to help with his impluses) and since then, we have been on a downwards spiral. He has been manic almost all of the 2weeks.. he has threatened to leave 5+ times, sometimes twice in one day (???!!!!) and then last night he left to stay a weekend at his parents.

I'm so hurt and I've been crying all day. I don't want this to end.. I don't understand WHY it is ending.. He told me he didn't have to give me an explanation... umm.. yes, please, I'd like one.

Is going through this worth it in the end? Should I even try to pick up these pieces of our relationship? I'm considering when I get home to just pack up all of his crap (like he has wanted to for "so long") and just drive over to his parents and say here ya go! [but that won't ever happen, because I'm way to nice to say that..]

OH, and to top this whole new lithium crap off... he has relapsed after being sober for 2 + years, and then drink again a few days later. :( ANDDDDDDDDDDD we tried to get him admitted to 5+ hospitals in the area and they all had NO EFFIN BEDS AND WOULDN'T TAKE HIM! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I just want to rip my hair out and cry.. oh wait, I did that last night after he left. :(

C'mon, Higher Power, if you are out there. Help me. Just tell me things are going to be alright...erm.. show me? Thanks.

Side note: on the way to the hospital, he was crying telling me how sorry he was, and how when he got out he wanted to be the best boyfriend ever to me.. he said that he wished all of these bad thoughts and obsessions would just go away.. Damn, wish there was a bed because this time next week I could have a new and improved R... -sarcasm at the end there.

Previous diary posts by vacantmind:

I couldn't do it..

Comments (1) Add Comment

written by marriedtoit, June 28, 2012

To get a bed, he should tell them he wants to kill himself. Did you see the story in the New York Times Sunday Magazine?

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/06/24/magazine/when-my-crazy-father-actually-lost-his-mind.html?pagewanted=all

Lithium takes TIME to work!!!! But it won't work at ALL if he is drinking!!!! Drinking and Lithium are a DANGEROUS combo. Not just mentally but physically!! Look it up.

But I can answer your question: No, things will never get better if he keeps drinking while taking his psych meds. A pdoc cannot adjust them accurately until he is SOBER.