Unraveling

i don't know if it's a side effect of meds or stress or a combination of two or more of the above. all i know is that my brain is deteriorating. i can't remember things. i forget what i'm talking about - even in the middle of talking about it. sometimes i almost feel as if my neurons are struggling to crawl.

i grope for words and then end up saying the wrong things anyway. sometimes it's not really significant, like saying "mysterious girl" when i meant "mystery woman". sometimes it can be embarrassing though. like when i meant to thank a priest and tell him "we're grateful" i said "we're generous" instead. it was only after i closed the car door and he has gone that i realized i said the wrong thing.

i have to write everything down now. it's annoying, especially when i forget where i wrote it. and then i finally remember but can't recall where i put the piece of paper or notebook i wrote it in. 

i asked my doctor about it, and he said that although people react differently to meds, prozac (i'm taking 60mg daily) generally enhances memory. so i don't know. i just know it's irritating and disruptive. :(