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  "Always had hope and lost relatives to suicide" (Ap88)

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OCDMD"I came to MDJ for understanding and support from people like me. I have Bipolar Disorder and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and wanted to connect with others who had both illnesses. I have found them here and I am grateful." (OCDMD)

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KonaRose I never wanted to get this sick in all my entire life. I had more empathy for others' suffering which is why I went into nursing - to alleviate other people's suffering. And now look - I am on 'the other side' now. And it looks very grim, and I get quite scared, and my family/friends have abandoned me, all but my loyal husband. Every day I wonder if it will be my last. And I feel so all alone and foggy-brained - I can't even figure out how to take care of myself because I can no longer think clearly. ...Read More


Had more energy today :D

Jan 25 2010

Well, what a nice change. I knew deep down in my heart that a better day would come, and it did. So it wasn't filled with fireworks and the energy of a bull, but I was able to get up by 10am, and clean our kitchen!!! I cleaned it really well. I felt the cortef wear off sooner, so took the next dose and ate lunch, then got up and did some more. I even made spaghetti and vegetables for dinner for us, with leftovers enough for tomorrow (yay). I was able to keep the towels going through the washer/dryer and watered the plants out front (poor little drooping weeping things). I even gave one of our kitties a bath in the sink that has a sprayer (she just luved it, not). One of her claws got stuck in my right buttock forever! Like a fish hook - it wouldn't come out anyway I pushed it - she was mad and evil. So that will take a while to heal. Anyway, by mid afternoon I crashed and showered, went to bed. My husband had to dish up dinner after he got home, but I got a teeny tiny second wind and was able to put leftovers away and do the few dishes that we got dirty.

You know, I realize that 'normal' people who read this might think that what I did today was so 'nothing' compared to what they do. But that is Addison's. We are so disabled weak and unstable that they have no idea. I had no idea when I used to be well.

I wonder what tomorrow holds for all of us. May yours be filled with wonder and abilities. If I relapse, it was so worth it. You should see how edematous both my legs are from being up so long today. I have them elevated now so I can get the fluid out.

Am contemplating going to 3 doses of 10 mg Cortef daily so the afternoon crash is not so dramatic. If only I could tie enough strings on my fingers to remember to double the 1-2 pm dose. I can't even remember to set the timer....

 Aloha, for now and thank you my dear God, for my better day today. For so many days recently, I was in a very dark and ominous place. Today was a respite from that terrible feeling.

 



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