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anamore"MDJ has saved my life, I was a recoverying addict, feeling so alone and helpless, then I found MDJ. Sharing my story w/ others and getting support and comfort has made me a stronger person. Being able to help someone who is all alone and in so much pain is so rewarding
I have met some great ppl that have had a strong influence on my life. MDJ gave me my life back..
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trent My name is Trent I Have PTSD. Im not sure what to expect from this group or even if it will help. Hope is all I have.


bull!

Nov 17 2008

I woke up today having one thing on my mind, that was being there For someone who means the world to me through something that was terrifiying to her. But  first I had to go see my fucken therapist!  There are two Rules that are very important to me, as a man you should never raise his voice to a woman, and never raise his hand to a woman. God Knows that I respect and honner women. But today was really something! all I could think of was this specail person. And things got way out of hand. My therapist is really in to hipnosis and I refuse to go there!!! well she kept going on and on about it and then said that I was refusing to perticipate in my own therapy! thats when it happened shit started flying  "REFUSING TO PERTICIPATE ! OKAY I HAVE ALREADY TOLD YOU MY FUCKING LIFE STORY TOLD YOU HOW MY FATHER FORCE FUCKED ME HE LET STRANGE MEN FORCE FUCK ME, MY FATHER BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF ME, POURED BOILING WATER IN MY LAP CAUSE HE CAUGHT ME PLAYING WITH MY SELF AS A  CHILD! JUST WHAT THE HELL ELSE DO YOU THINK I SHOULD BE DOING! next thing I know the damn doctors are busting in the doors. Im yelling at the top of my lungs, out comes the straps! so the best that they can do is strap me down in the chair and try to scream over me to calm me down, So arms straped to the chair legs strapped to the chair legs, Look Im fucken upset but never once did I ever think of hurting anyone!  so the they start talking to each other and come to the coclusion that I need to be evaluated. As if I wasnt there! So they start asking me questions do you want to hurt yourself do you want to hurt anyone ealse No god damn it I want to fucken go!!!  Im not a god damn dog! let me up! All because I refused to let someone hipnotise me! I already remeber way to god damn much!! I dont want to Know anything else!  

 If anyone reads this im sorry, Im just upset!



Previous diary posts by trent:
Comments (1)Add Comment
written by sisters4life, November 17, 2008
I'm so sorry you had such a bad day and were treated this way. My god how can they even suspect such a kind gentle soul of wanting to hurt someone else. It is your choice how much or how little treatment you get and want. They should never try to force more on you.

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