Why wear a ribbon?

"For my best friend who lives with Schizotypal Disorder." (gleamingeyed)

MDJunction to me

"MDJunction has become a lifeline to my recovery. I use this site as a daily coping tool where i can share my thoughts,my fears and ask ways to cope with living life with a illness. I also found new friends here and they have restore my faith in humanity. People everywhere come here to share same problems or solutions to problems we encounter in our lives. MDjunction is a wonderful site and has help not only myself but also my family and friends. I recommend this site to anyone who thinks they are alone dealing with an illness and also to those who have love ones who suffer from illnesses. I will keep spreading the word about MDJunction to organizations who deals with illnesses that would benefit having MDjunction as a support system.Bottom line is.. I found myself again through MDJunction" (mobey)

more testimonials

Trapped

My diary is going to be a collection of thoughts feelings and events that happen in my life. although it will not be updated daily i will write in it as often as i can

Update

Nov 15 2010

Well it is almost my birthday. I will be 28 on friday 19th November. his past year has been another struggle of pain self loathing and wanting to change but not being able to. My hormone theropyis well under way and i have seen some positive changes but the agoraphobia is as bad if not worse than ever. I was attending some CBT but after a few weeks i hit a block and have been more house bound than ever. i a so confused. how is it that i can get on a train every 3 - 4 months and go to london as cool as a cucumber, but when it comes to leaving my flat to walk about in my own city that i panic, anxiety sets in and i become physically un able to go outside?? I just feel more like a freak than ever. All i want is to be normal, to be able to get up and go to work or into town, to be able to have friends and go hang out with them. to do normal things and come home and say what a good day i have had, insterad of sitting staring at the same 4 walls day in and day out.

Previous diary posts by Iktomi:

Blah
A fairly good day

Introduction

Comments (1) Add Comment

written by KittenMittens, November 16, 2010

Happy Birthday.

I don't think it's strange at all to be able to ride the train yet be uncomfortable around your home. The mind is a strange little device, it can be accustomed to taking a train and see it as safe. Then you could be walking a block away from your home and have a surprise pop out at you!

Give yourself a pat on the back for getting out.

Cheryl