Well, it's been a month since I last wrote in my diary on here and I thought I would give an update. I was writing last time that Steve had decided that our relationship was over, well that changed. About a week after Steve told me this I put up a web-page on an on-line dating service. I just wanted to meet some new friends, (YES friends) and to give my self a chance to clear my head and not spend all my time with him...

 I meet 3 different guys and one of them was wanting to date me... This all took about 3 weeks, and I told this man that I was not interested in dating. I just got out of a 3 year relationship and didn't want to jump into anything. Steve asked me about who I was talking to on line so much and I was honest and told him what I was doing. Well then I get the talk of how he really didn't feel like our relationship was over. He said that He felt like GOD wasn't done with us yet.... I agreed and told him that I felt the same way but seeings how he had decided that we were over a month before I really didn't know what to do. So I was giving myself the opportunity to meet some new people..... We Steve and I talked and we together decided that we would try counseling.  This last Wednesday we went to a session with our pastor and he agreed to take the next 6 weeks and try and help us sort out what it is we should and can agree upon to do. He is much more attentive and loving, but I know that with his Bi-Polar this probibly won't last. I know that he loves me and really wants to be with me,, but his biggest problem he faces is , "Do I have the right to do this to Kat? To put her through all the turmoil that comes with this disease. Can she really handle it and can I stand to watch what it might do to her?"  I know this because we have talked about it so many times. Only GOD knows what will happen and all I can do is continue to step forward with the best I have and continue to love him. All the rest I have to put in God's hands. That's where it stands right now...... Pray for us,, if you could.?