I felt good after my examination for two day - not really any pain - then I went to the bathroom and thought I was going to die.  I was the first real BM since the procedure and my word did ithurt.  I had to take two pain pills and even then I still couldn't move for about an hour.  At that point when I was in the shower trying to get a little relief, I just started to ball my eyes out. 

I have been telling everyone I am fine and things are getting better or I can handle it or I don't really need that much help.  Thursday night everything just came crashing down on me and I just had to let it all out.  I know that I have been extremely lucky to not really have had to many problems with my crohns.   When I have had flare ups I keep everything to myself.  I don't want people to pity me or see me sick, I don't like taking my pills even if they are for pain.  I hate having to rely on other people to do simple things like get up off the couch.  I have taken to keeping it to myself and putting up a strong front.   But, then I have to break down one good time in the middle of the flare up in order to keep going.  Things just get to much to handle and a good cry really helps.