tired of life..

I miss my mum. Every day. I know it's a long time since she isn't here, but when I found out what happened to her I lost her again. And it's really painful, when I know how she died. The informationabout her death is killing me. I think of her every morning when I wake up. I think of her every time I smile. And I keep telling me she would want to see me happy, but I can't be happy when I know.... When I know how she suffered. I can't be happy. I can't trust people. I feel so alone in this world. I think I can't do this anymore. I want to be somewhere far away. This is too big and bad world for me to live in. I don't want to be here!!! Help me, please....