Diary Entries for tinamg

so so day

tinamg

I am back to being home more. i lost count of how many times. but learn something new about myself and others along the way. i use to play facebook all the time but found lately it was overwhelmingme. thanks to reading something on it here. i like some of the games so i started over only this time with smaller group of friends. i am learning to set boundries on others sharing and wanting me to help them with their problems. i know they do not understand what i myself am going threw. people i [...]

feeling of overwhelmed lately

tinamg

as i travel threw the path of life i find the oddest things as i go. lately i have had such on overwhelming feeling all the time. i had gotten myself to a 5block distance and was proud of myself. buti lost all distance and am starting again. but first had to end feeling overwhelmed before i even tried. everyone has problems and i found with me others find me easy to talk to. so i have others coming to me. my niece is going threw losing her kids due to her drug addiction. thinks its alright to [...]

long time writing

tinamg

a while back i thought i was going forward and doing a good job. about 6months ago i started having my world grow smaller and smaller. i cant do everything i need to do for my health. my physicis moving to an area that i have a hard time going to and fear of losing him. the time has come to decide if i am going to renew my drivers licsense or just get an id. i have not been able to drive a car for over 3 years now. i feel like i am fighting a losing battle but continue to try. people ar [...]

hate people who dont listen and try to have the idea of just do it

tinamg

i write off and on. today is a good day to write. i hate that people around me can not grasp that i just cant do things that i force myself to do what i do. right now i am going threw a bit of a set backwhich does not help. it seems when i do people around pull away even more or think i am mad at them. i try to explain it simple and to the point but its like they dont hear a word i say. its kinda duh if i could just force myself out of this i would. its not easy going out my door but i force mys [...]

another day and its soso

tinamg

funny those around me see me as strong and dont notice my struggles. i have become their support person to make it threw life. yet have not shared with them. i find i dont tell people how things are goingfor me. i stopped doing that. i have tried to but other people or at least those in mine did not accept i had limits and now avoid me. so new people. they know about my phobia but dont understand it. to them its just a name. i had one freind i thought i could share anything with and told him my [...]

not sure what today is but it is still july

tinamg

this week i get to go out 3 times. twice to walk and once on handi van. thats more than usual for me. i have been making myself go out on the porch were i live for at least one hour a day. that is were others gather. most know i have the phobia but dont understand it. i have been doing that for a while now making myself go out but lately finding it harder to do. but i keep doing it. trying different times of the day and dont count it unless someone else is out there. but so far this wee [...]

tired of it today

tinamg

I tried taking the city bus and it was not a good idea. i am so tired of my limits. 5 blocks is such a small area really. i am also tired of peoples reaction to my phobia. most are interested in learningabout it but then just cant seem to understand the idea of not being able to go further. its like i have to remind them all the time of my limits and that upsets me. its like okay i already told you. how many times do i have to tell you. i have a hard time with my limits myself and to have to be [...]

july 14th

tinamg

i wish people understood me better. to many see the strengths but ignore the weakness. at times its the weaker part that needs the support. people who have known me for years hide from me. new peoplearound think i am stronger than i am. here is a place at least i can voice it. I have gotten myself into a 5 block radiance of going out but can't get past that. most days its hard to even get myself to do that. i make myself go out on the porch to be social with others in the building but the [...]