|Sep 14 2010|
yesterday, my fiance used my computer to pay our car insurance. later that day i wanted to go online and his email was open and i saw an email that he sent to a girl. atfirst it hurt reallybad, he said that he liked her profile pictures d asked her if she wanted to chat over the weekend sometime. i really couldnt believe it and i had to read it like ten times. i work long hours all weekend long and he is here watching my twins. i felt so furious! then the real kicker came, the profile was from some adult personals sex dating site. i felt so disgusted and i still do. apparently he has pictures on that account. i made him show me the girl he was trying to talk to and ofcoarse she was thin and beautiful and everything that i'm not! i purged five times yesterday and i cut my thighs pretty badly. i would have expected this from old boyfriends, but not from him. he always talks like we have this romantic fairytale love story but this is what he is doing behind my back, while im out making money for our upcoming wedding. if i didnt have my boys i would kill myself, im so tired of being let down and used. he says that she emailed him through the site and he was curious and that he never wanted it to go anywhere and that he regretted it right after he sent it. are all guys like this? is it possible to find a man with morals? am i overreacting? i feel hideous, fat, ugly, and worthless. i hate myself for not being good enough...
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