thoughts

there isnt 1 more thing that could consume my brain there isnt an inch left........

my short term memory is almost non existant and im doing the most stupid things. like 2nite at work i grabbedthe rubber band container which was about 1/3 full of bands, i topped it up with salad put the dressing on it n sent it out with the customer. Not only did it contain the bands but my lip balm as we

I found my incence, yay

we got the yards done yesterday, brett actually home from work kids all happy etc got the weeding lawns gardens n edges done, looks great, 1st time we actually done itproperly since we moved in

craig n shaz gone home, cj n bj with their dad 2nite out 4 dinner just me brett n bubby, very quiet, very unusual

cj had her gf stay last nite 4 sleep over, they

going 2 attempt this entry cause im tryin 2 do it regulary

we have friends from interstate stayin with us at the moment 2 kinda just help out n b here after my hospital stay, great 2 have themhere, went 2 dr 2day on my own no kids ( jesus christ ) n when i came home kitchen was tidy, microwave was cleaned out kids all happy n relaxed, was brilliant.......they offerering 2 do my housework

Oh hello diary, been a while....cant b helped

so much has happened

had quiet but good chrissy, all the kids got spoilt, very happy

been in n out hospital with pancreatitis ( whereis my dictionary ) , so so painful up there with gall stones but the difference is this 1 doesnt let up at all like gall pain does this is constant, thought i was gunna die 4 a little while there with

Busy busy busy always something 2 do

school holidays begun

Courteney had her farewell from primary school she looked so grown up n gorgeous, i am proud ( more than ) 2 say she is mine

25 hours left at work till i get 3 n a half weeks off...freakin yea ha

heard from the father in law who went awol pmsl, prob c him boxing day ( no skin off my nose )

was supposed 2 r

have had comp dramas, then security dramas then internet dramas so few days missed here

learnt something 2day, always a good day when that happens i reckon, i can now bleed the pool filter woohoo success 1st go

went shopping 2day, got 1 xmas present ( the 1st lol ) 4 brett well kinda 4 brett hehehe its a see through teddy with g string im wrapping it 4 him 4 me 2 wear lol guess i ma

so so so tired but been working 2 much n doing 2 much else on top of that

Still off all meds, i'm starting 2 calm down a little im thinkin its not having the steroids in my system, but i took note 2day when my boss said something......there was 2 guys across the road from work playin xmas carols on trumpets 4 like hours on end n it was really buggin me ( sorry but truth lol ) n my bos

Gp taken me off all meds ( side effects ) over 30 hrs ago n i feel brilliant 1st time in months, havent pooped havent nothin just functioning normally ( can someone define normal please lol )

Bad nite sleep last nite, slept 2 hrs in afternoon ( didnt go 2 work ) then couldnt sleep plus bubby coughed all nite so been hell tired 2day but have functioned ok.........

Bubby on new meds

usin date as title as im hoping it will encourage me 2 write even if just a few lines everyday.

Trying 2 get hold of GI specialist 2day, migrane from Imuran unbearble. Tummy pains average. Windy( not the weather type of windy )

Kids all well behaved last 2 days, bubby happy with all her new craft things she is very creative

Brett working really long hours 2nd week in a row

ive had the weirdest day, ive felt so tired but so alive at the same time prob the steroids again, ive been so happy n so down, ive kept my mind active, being at work all day has helped but at the sametime ive never worried so much in all my life, there is so much uncertanty its drivin me mad but ive kept my humour with me most of the day YAY but in the back of my mind there is still worry, my lat

SHIT ARSE day, pain n tears, gggrrrrrrrrrrr i just want a break from this, thought medication meant a new way of life 4 me, well it aint gunna b that easy sunshine ( u stupid fool ) wanna use every swearword i know here but i havent the energy 2 bother, im grabbin my 2 yr old n runnin 2 bed 4 cuddles, i need cuddles ( brett is drunk n asleep in another room )

i'm hoping 2day is the start of the rest of my life where some normality returns, started medication 2day, prednisone n salofalk. not happy taking the steroids but accept them as part of my treatmentplan, worked all day n everything was ok, feel ok besides leg cramps but i think they have more 2 do with the swimming training from last nite n ive had a lot of stomach / abdo pain all day but im

2day was a little better 4 me emotianally, not so angry 2day but the weirdest thing happened....i havent pooped all day but ive had bad pains n wished i would poop 2 c if the pains would ease at least, its funny u poop all day n wish it would stop then u dont poop n wish u could, very strange........i worked all day 2day n didnt get as tired as usual but thats prob cause i didnt poop out any of my

angry 2day, very angry, multiple loo stops just in time whilst out with the kids n im sick n tired of going somewhere n searching out where the loo's r so i can relax a little just so i know where2 run if i need 2. b4 this disease i had a genuine fear of public toilets but im way over them now would shit anywhere now. so angry with myself 2day, restroom had line up out the door n im nearly poo