these days diary

So I am on day 12 of my Savella study. I got the placebo and have been on a roller-coaster with my bipolar symptoms. I had a flare of pain that lasted for 5 days, 3 of which I couldn't do anythingbut keep warm and try not to be too depressed. Saturday I had the first really good day, almost pain free and took the chance to go out and enjoy a beautiful day with a friend. We went to two small fall festivals, one art show and ended up at a really cool little out of the way bar on the river. It did me good to get out of the house! The next day by evening the pain was creeping back in. In two days I have my first follow up appointment for the study and plan on withdrawing since I got the placebo and want to get started on the real Savella. I have been off my pain and anti- depressant pills for over 2 weeks and have only broken down once and taken a Lortab during the flare. I am proud of myself, I dislike having to take pain pills so once I got over the minor withdrawal I felt good about being off the Lortabs. BUT on the other hand I realize that without anything to resort to life with Fibro can make one extremely hopeless. I admit I was blinded by the possibilities of science and got the short end of the stick this time around....

I will update more after my appointment on Thursday.....