Yesterday I had a mild panic attack while driving home. Forst thing more than anything I wanted to get to a safe place. I looked everywhere for a safeplace and then at the same time pure anger cameover me. No I am not going to race to find a safe place. I am in a safe place right now. THis car that I have had for years is my safe place. I am safe because to a certain degree I can write my future. I turned on some music and made my way home. With out a panic attack.

As I write this I am still angry at myself for allowing this horrible disorder to affect every part of my life. PURE ANGER. I hate everything I have allowed myself to become.

I used to be so strong, outgoing and full of energry. I am NONE of those now. I live with anxiety 24/7. NEVER relaxing.

My mom is coming over today and I am going for a drive. Yes a DRIVE. I dont care what it feels like or how much it scares me. I have to get out and drive.