The thoughts running through my head...

Today was a day like usual, I woke up feeling horrible. You get up feeling so weak and exhausted but know you have to beat yourself up to get up. Today there has been no headache just a mild pain hereand there and the joints aren't as bad as that have been. I am still dizzy when I get up and feel that the prednisone I am on isn't lifting the hormone as high as it needs to be.. is this how I am going to feel for the rest of my life? I guess they say it's different with every patient but because I have had stress, mono and even other conidtions I just don't think it's going to make me feel like the old Caty.. but than again I don't know what that feels like anymore. I feel horrible that my husband has to catch me when I see black spots just from getting up on the couch.. or that he has to see me cry because of the pain.. it's hard enough on me and the fact that it's harder on him makes it even more horrible. I just want to be able to dance again, excerise or even attend a job knowing I won't fall over or be in pain all day and my joints won't swell up.. my emotions are so strong right now it's ridiculous.. I wish someone would share their experience with me..