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The Life and Times of HPV in NA

This is my journey to show how my health fails or improves when it comes to me having HPV. I've had HPV for about four years now. I decided to start writing stuff down because I need to figure out what it wrong with me and how did I come to this point. I also need to get some stuff off of my chest about the men that I've been involved with. I recently told a man that I thought that I could build something very real with and he just threw the shit in my face, even though I am always the one who is insisting on condoms and buying them for him. But I need to get some shit off of my chest. This is also a diary about how I'm going to get my weight down and get back to my ideal weight before I graduate from graduate school. Here is goes..................


I feel stupid, shouldn't have said anything

May 16 2011
I was diagnosed with HPV when I was 24 years old. The only people who knew at first was my favorite cousin Karlyn, my sister Amber and my mother. All have been supportive of me as women who know that this could be a real thing that they could get and its also a very personal and sensitive thing for me especially. For the first time in my life with having this I told someone that I thought was very special to me, I thought since he said I love you to me he would be supportive just like how I was with his problems, that was a lie. He compared my HPV to Herpes and both of the STI's are very different and that really, really hurt my feelings. I had cleared everything up with the genital warts for a couple of years and one day recently they came back. I cried to my mother because I thought that was such a huge double standard, even though he told me about his child being his right away but he would have to tell me about her eventually. You can't hide a child for very long. But fuck it, if the bitch wants to be mad about this, hey I can just say that I told him and he can do something about it to prevent it. I wonder if he would be this mad if HPV only affected me and gave me cervical cancer to prevent me from having kids. I'm doing like mom said, I'm going to love me first of all, take care of myself and my health, but if these things just go away for good then I won't tell anyone, at least until I know they can handle it and read about it. But if things don't work out I am going to the doctor to get a yearly pap exam. At that time I'm just going to have him do a full screening, hopefully I haven't caught anything else.

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