Diary Entries for Endziel

Wednesday

Endziel

Slept so so I got up and ate several times through the night last night. I wish I could just sleep a full straight 8 hours and not wake up because a lot of times I end up eating if I do and it isvery hard not too. Several times if I don't eat I can't go back to sleep. It irritates the heck out of me! I have a hard time not being able to talk to my mom since she can't talk really right now because of her surgery's. Positive thing for the day is I got [...]

Tuesday

Endziel

I slept alright but I got up and ate one in the night. Felt alright went to the store and got my haircut which was nice. Positive thing for the day is I got my walk in and a hair cut.

Monday

Endziel

I've been trying to go to bed earlier and have had up and down results. I'm going to increase my exercise to help. I slept alright last night after I actually fell asleep. I've also noticed a type of pattern with my eating habits. The more depressed I am the more likely I over eat or indulge in to many bad things plus I'm more apt to eat late at night and wake up and eat through the night. I'm going to try to focus on exercising and eating better [...]

Sunday

Endziel

I actually slept pretty good. I was a little tired still when I woke up but I didn't fall asleep during the day today which is a big plus. Forgot to take some of my pills in the morningso I ended up taking them late. A friend and I ran a couple of errands and other than that watched some college basketball. Overall felt decent today. I didn't walk today or get any exercise but my positive thing for the day is I felt pretty good for the most part.

Saturday

Endziel

Slept ok. Got up took meds felt ok for the most part. This evening is much better than last nights. I feel pretty decent. I didn't do a whole lot today just watched collegebasketball. I can't think of any positive things for the day well unless I count feeling much better than yesterday as one.

Friday

Endziel

Slept so so. Got up took meds and went for a long walk across town. Later in the evening had a friend call me because he was in a domestic dispute with his girlfriend so I had him come overto get away from the situation and he ended up staying the night. Plus my roommate ended up having his ex over and his child and her two other so I ended up becoming anxious. I don't know if it was because of all of the people around or what but I became really anxious and didn' [...]

Thursday

Endziel

Slept ok. I got up early since I'm trying to get up earlier and I was cold so I laid back down for a minute to get warm and I ended up sleeping several more hours which upset me. I gotmy appointment taken care of today which makes me happy. Positive thing for the day is I got my walk in and my appointment went well.

Wednesday

Endziel

Slept alright, got up ate and went for a walk and went to my friends place to hang out plus I had to print out a bunch of stuff for an appointment I have tomorrow. I slept wrong or somethinglast night so my upper back and neck hurt today. Positive thing for the day is I got my walk in.

Tuesday

Endziel

Slept alright, had a hard time getting up this morning. Had one appointment to go to and I made it there early and I ended up having to reschedule because I didn't have all the information Ineeded with me. Went to a friends and hung out for awhile. Overall I felt pretty good for the day other than struggling to get up this morning and felt down off and on several times. Positive thing for the day is I got my walk in.

Monday

Endziel

Slept alright, had a hard time getting up this morning. Felt a little down. Went over to a good friends house and spent time with him. Positive thing for the day is I got my walk in.

Sunday

Endziel

I actually slept decent and I think it was mainly because I was so mentally and physically exhausted from the visit to my moms. Didn't do a whole lot today. Watched the Sprint cup raceand a little bit of basketball and had dinner with a good friend. Positive thing for the day is I got my walk in.

Saturday

Endziel

Didn't sleep all that great. Was anxious about going and visiting my mom today. Went and visited my Grandma, Aunt, and Uncle and had some lunch and continued to go visit my mom. I hadn't seen my mom since her last two surgeries and I had an idea what she would look like but it really hurt seeing her in that shape. She had one tube coming out of her neck for breathing purposes and another coming out of her stomach to feed her. The way she looked and the [...]

Friday

Endziel

Slept so so. My dad's girlfriend ended up picking me up because she needed some help with a computer over at my dads plus I needed to do laundry so I just did it over there. Stressed outfor several reasons well when my dad's girlfriend picked me up she was loaded (Alcohol) I didn't realize it till we had already left. My dad wasn't home but she kept calling him and arguing with him and that really doesn't help me at all. Spent most of the day at my dad [...]

Thursday

Endziel

Slept poor and had another panic attack during the night. Didn't really do much of anything today because I didn't sleep well and I've been feeling crappy the last few days having abdominalcramps and just overall poor feeling of well being. Positive thing for the day is I got a short walk in.

Wednesday

Endziel

Slept bad, woke up and was having abdominal pains making me sick to my stomach and because of all of it I had a dang panic attack oh how I hate that so much. It seems like every time I getsick or hurt or just don't feel good physically I end up having a panic attack most of the time. Took meds and laid down for awhile. Couldn't go anywhere because I had to stay near a bathroom. Positive thing towards the end of the day I was able to run an important errand.& [...]

Tuesday

Endziel

Slept not real good but but real bad. Took meds and ended up laying back down awhile because the last few days I've been having abdominal pain. I went over to a good friends placeand hung out with him and watched some college basketball. Positive thing for the day is I got my walk in.

Monday

Endziel

Slept alright but way too long. Took meds and checked electronic messages. Positive things for the day is I got a long walk in because I walked clear across town taking care of some errandsI had to run.

Sunday

Endziel

Slept bad again. Woke up disoriented and started having a panic attack but was able to keep it under control. Took meds. Didn't get my exercise in for the day and found out my Aunthad passed away which really bites. Positive thing for the day is I had a great dinner with my buddy and his mom and step dad.

Saturday

Endziel

Slept so so, took meds and ate breakfast. That's one thing I'm working on is trying to eat breakfast and eating less at night. Woke up with a stomach ache and headache. I didn't get my walk in but my Positive thing for the day is I had lunch with a friend.

Friday

Endziel

Slept bad again, got up took meds. Went and saw my therapist today and my session went well I'm so thankful for her help. My dad and his girlfriend dropped me off some casserole dish which was really nice. Oh my therapist did mention something to me that has actually been on my mind for quite some time now and that is she wants me to talk to my regular doctor to see if I can get a referral for a sleep study. Positive things for the day are I got my walk in and h [...]