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conker

The brain in that MRI is one Pissed Off Poodle!

My reckless luge ride from a butterfly rash and a whiny reputation to the crash against the cold cold ice of CNS Lupus. Managing flares? When your life events fold over each other like peony petals, flares are what I sent up to mark my position.

Starp yourself in. It is a hairy ride.


Treachery and the Teenage Boy

Dec 15 2011

Last year my son was so upset. My husband and I were moving into separate living and it was very messy; my husband was older and becoming demented. After things were settled, I was assessing the needsfor my child. I hav always been a fairly 'boots and all' mum, but also giving lots of freedoms. My son told me he felt underparented and had done for the year that we had just left. I vowed to him that this would not happen again even though I was ill. 

 

So tonight when I read the facebook messages he had left open on my laptop, deliberate as can be, for he never uses my lappy, dragging the other one around like it is kryptonite, I was not surprised that my friends were sending me abusive messages or not visting. I wouldn't come to see a woman who was treating the beloved boy this way either.  I had called his bluff this week, and we had a good day today so perhaps this is why the big reveal. 

Can a child be jealous of an illness? I knew already that he was spreading these things, having caught individual ones but as i sent the message to him saying 'sorry I read your messages, you must be more careful next time, I think they were meant to be private", I knew that talking to him was not what I would do.  

It is so hard being 16. It is hard when your Dad never calls. When mum is ill. He must have a consequence and I think that he realises what it is, but it must be to him. I am still trying to put myself back together. I told him I love him, because I do. It makes sense of some things. I called his sister to ask if she has any problems with me. I gather he is saying more. He has made an appointment to see the mental Health nurse next week and I am  sending him to the shed to renovate it and make it liveable. Some things you cannot solve with words. 



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