Diary Entries for markm

Ive got it under control

markm

waking up in the darkness..

holding my face, feeling the loss

regret, failure,anger,sorrow

turn the lamp on, i wont sleep tonight

But ive got it under control

whatsleep i get comes in a pill

it makes the nightmares stay where they should..

the weary , worry of death, haunting me

the forshadows of doubt

but ive got it under control..

Push my physical self as far as i can

till the weights become my lover, my friend

m [...]

Goodbye, the heart of a poet...

markm

I dont know what to say or do

But sometimes i still think of you

at christmass you were here with me

just because it used to be

I thought of things we used to do

when life was good for me and you

in sleep, i dream of things we did

But when I wake,i close the lid

im sorry dear I must let go

the grief must end , I love you so...

I will go on and laugh, and love

my guilt will fade,and fly above

But ill always [...]

Dark morning of sorrow

markm

I walk past the bars

the sidewalk is begging under my feet

the bars slide by,like a prison

her soul is still there..i know

i cry the tears when no one is around

in theshower my tears melt with

hot water, like a faucet with no valve...

down the drain like my past life

gone forever in a bitter taste

of regret sorrow, and anger...

i arise from death ...again

to sit, holding my head in my hands

silently weeping when no one [...]

i feel broken

markm

its been here, waiting,for a chance

to ply its trade, and make me dance

it holds its place,deep in my chest

and with it there, i can not rest

i heave and sigh, behind the dark

it leaves on me, its dreadfull mark

i wonder why i never knew

this thing i feel, with words so few

it weaves upon my aching head

it carries me to be undead

it grinds me down in through the day

and i still feel.....that horrid way

i see the words ,i [...]

the bloody shore

markm

Every night i waste my time

i think of words to fuckin to ryme

i bang my head against the wall

And wonder when my brains will fall

But sometimes in the misty sky

I seea bird and it does die

And sit upon the bloody shore

closing the depressing door

But then again , no one can know

The black,damn place that I must go

It cracks a hole inside my head

Untill I wish that I am dead

I lay upon the bloody shore

someone is k [...]

things ive lost

markm

It bares a hope , a salvaged note

When comes a place , a sinking boat

The anger swells and seems to cry

They dance in ways, and blind my eye

Im lost again a season spell

OH! Drag my heart upon to hell !

I want to live, I want to die

The pain is where?Of knowing why

And agony is such a gift

my useless brain begins to shift

my hands betray, my seperate way

I am a ghost

markm

I am a ghost

Why cant i see?

I am a ghost

That will never be

I am a ghost

Why caint you tell?

I am a ghost

living in hell..

I am a ghost

I wander alone..

I am a ghost

depressing in tone

I am a ghost

forever to roam

I am a ghost

without a home

I am a ghost

there is only me

I am a ghost

that no one can see

I am a ghost....

my little friend

markm

I have a little friend

thats with me all the time

they help me think of funny words

And help me make them rhyme

I have a little friend

That nevermakes a peep

And they even come to me

when im in my sleep

I have a little friend

that always seems to know

when im feeling temted

and when im feeling low

I have a little friend

That never goes away

the [...]

No one can hear them..( but I can)...

markm

No one canhear them, but i can
Screeching their witches song
Ill close my eyes and try to hide
but i am the one,burn my brain

No one can hear them, but I can
each breath bares the sound
A never ceasing cascade of dread
To color black my heart

No one can hear them, but i can
Whispering things,sirens of torment
promises of normalcy,forever forgotten
knowing i cant face,what they are

No one can hear them, but I can
[...]

every day I die

markm

Every day I live the lie

A look of fear,A fadeing eye

I play the game, i feel so sore

Every thing is just a bore

ill wear the mask, and show the face

so you cant see my lonely place

but what you see, is not the me

im not the man I want to be

but ill go on, and live the lie

kuz each and every day I die :(

Im scared...

markm

The vultures , always watching

or so it seems to be

their waiting for their moment

to take a piece of me

The sun, it rises slowly

the morning in the sky

itmocks me with its promise

like a crazy mans red eye

think ill go and get a gun

sit out back and get some sun

put the barrel to my head

pull the trigger till im dead

or maybe I can take some more???

forget about my sorrow

but i wonder, in my useless min [...]

your bloody kiss

markm

Welcome back my darling
my lover, my old friend
Its really something special
To feel your touch again

Yes it has been many years
since we first had to meet
But now you have arrived again
I thought I had you beat

You sense when I am weakest
And then you do attack
You move in very swiftly
like a knife stuck in my back

Maybe I should seek them out?
And make someone believe
But even if i tried that now
it wo [...]

I dread every day

markm

I welcome every new day

like a weight upon my head

The cold embrace of worry

or the pale touch of dread

And if you were to ask me

"Whats wrong?"I would not say

Ill tell you that im feeling good

and push you , more away

For this burden that I carry

Is more than you can bare

The demons that still haunt me

I would never try to share

So if you ever see me

with that look upon my eye

Dont ever stop to ask [...]